Aww :(

Very moving, poor Spock.  This is great - I like both chapters, but the second is subtly better and it shows how you've honed your craft over the years.  Well done! xxx

Absolutely beautiful! And heartbreaking.

This is a lovely poem that sounds like something Spock would write; I really like it because it's sad and evocative, without descending into self-pity or whining.  There's a quiet dignity to the words.  I would love to see more of your work. :)

Sad, but sweet.

I hope you post more of your work. I know it's nerve-wracking, but I have found that the Internet is friendlier than you might think. Especially on sites like this, where you can be fairly certain what your audience is looking for. Elsewhere, people tend not to leave overwhelmingly negative reviews. Constructive criticism sometimes, but that's nothing to worry about.

So... yes. Please post. :)

Author's Response:

Thank you T'Para for reading my poem.  I have written quite a few stories and poem/songs etc...got to get them beta read though...my grammar really sucks...i have two working on two different stories.  I got two pages back already and boy do i have my work cut out for me.  It helps though it, you take for granted that the reader knows what is going on your head when he sometimes doesn't so you have to describe, describe, describe... and you try not to make it boring....so the stuff that is up isn't beta read but hopefully i'll learn from the experts.  Thanks.