Date: 07/07/2017 5:45 AM Title: Part 4: Planetfall
There are so many things I love about this chapter - the walk up to the temple, the female painted icon, the love scene in the cargo bay, and the painful evolution of Daniel. I like that it's not just possible to sit down and argue this out - it takes time and the communication is done as much with actions and giving each other space as with words.
Date: 07/06/2017 5:50 AM Title: Part Two: Daniel Grayson
I love that the second chapter is from Daniel's perspective. We get to know a complex OC through how others react to him. He's a bit of an unreliable narrator which is really interesting (exactly how bad is his drinking? Is he truly a bad dad? We don't need to have the definitive answers.) The PSI agent is really scary and everything seems quite hopeless at the end here.
Date: 01/03/2016 5:16 AM Title: Part Five: Tarsus
THat was excellent world-building! I felt for Spock, so very isolated. The Terran government and their psis, articificially created telepathic sociopaths, were absolutely terrifying. The Grayson Family was fantastic - I loved seeing how they maneuvered through the cracks in the system. Outstanding!
Very belated thank you! I had a major life-changing crisis at the end of 2015, and hadn't even seen this review until now. I'm glad you enjoyed Attraction. It was an interesting challenge to work out all the details of their world. I love good worldbuilding and this was an opportunity to do some myself. I particularly appreciate your comment on how the Grayson family was able to maneuver their way underground to do the work they did.
Date: 10/21/2013 7:24 PM Title: Part Five: Tarsus
That was a piece of emotional adventure,
You're very welcome! Many (belated) thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it so much. (I was recovering from surgery when you posted this last year, and only now discovered this review.)
Date: 08/05/2013 8:22 PM Title: Part One: Spock of No World
Wow. What a thoughtful, detailed, atmospheric story. I never imagined a cross between Orwell and ST, but here it is. You are undeniably talented!
Many (belated) thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it so much. (I had surgery last August, and only now discovered this review.)
Date: 08/01/2013 3:50 PM Title: Part Five: Tarsus
This is a fantastic story. Kirk and Spock (mostly the TOS ones, I think) are so damaged but still trying to act rightly. I loved it!! So real! But you left it hanging, just like Marketplace (another great story). They both need sequels, or at least epilogues. Please?
Thanks so much for the feedback! Yes, I had TOS Kirk and Spock in mind when I wrote this. The most challenging thing about writing any AU is seeing what their core characters are like. I wanted to see how they would act in a universe as dark as this one. I do have a sequel in mind but haven't had the chance to write it. (I never had a sequel in mind for The Marketplace, however; I always intended that to be a "Lady Or The Tiger" type of story. Thanks again for your comments!
Date: 05/25/2013 12:20 PM Title: Part Five: Tarsus
This is such an ugly world. For racism to exist so far into the future, makes this story almost too painful to read. However this is a beautiful story that speaks of love and hope in darkt times and reminds that there are always people who have big hearts and are brave enough to stand up and change their world. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story.
Thank you, Argona, for your comments – I’m glad you like it, despite the darkness. While this story has nothing to do with “The City on the Edge of Forever”, one of my basic inspirations would be, what would the Trek universe be like if history *had* been changed at that particular juncture in time.
Date: 08/11/2011 9:19 AM Title: Part Five: Tarsus
A wonderfully written story. The depth and detail of the crafting, this could almost be a universe all of it's own, without needing to be referenced as a ST AU. There are the bits of characterisation here and there, and universe history, that makes you look and say "Yes, that's what the future could have been if things had gone wrong when Earth first took to the stars." The build up and development of Kirk and Spock's relationship feels very organic and unrushed, making the point they're at by the end of the story feel like a very natural place for them to be.
At first I found the switch to first-person-perspective for Daniel's sections to be somewhat jarring, however after finishing the story I can see where the stylistic choice ultimately worked. It set him apart from Kirk and Spock, even though he was on the journey along with them, but instead of sharing with them he was an outsider looking in.
I also really like how the story ended, just enough wrapped up, bringing them to the next turning point in their lives. Of course with as open as the ending is it does leave me wishing for more, to know how their revolution goes, to know if Daniel ever finds the peace he lost. I'd like to think that they succeed and are free to live the rest of their lives among the stars, and that Daniel finds his peace some day, even if it isn't with a partner at his side.
So, ultimately, this babbling all boils down to: Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of art with us!
A very belated “thank you” for your comments – much appreciated! I particularly appreciate your comment on the pacing of the development of their relationship because they both had a lot of ground to cover before they were truly right for each other.
When I began writing Daniel’s portion, he began “speaking” to me in the first person, and I quickly decided that, unconventional choice or not, I needed to tell his portion of the story in that manner to emphasize his isolation from both Kirk and Spock, as well as his sister and others in the community.
I would love to write a sequel one of these days – I just haven’t had the time. But in the portion in my head, they do succeed, and Daniel does find some measure of peace in his life.
Date: 12/15/2010 1:12 PM Title: Part One: Spock of No World
Really great story, I enjoyed every minute of it. You created a very believable Orwellian world. Love you characters. You're a wonderful writer! Thanks for posting.
Thank you so much for your feedback - I was definitely trying for an "Orwellian world"; I'm glad I succeeded.
Date: 11/24/2010 7:02 AM Title: Part One: Spock of No World
This story was amazing the first time I read it and it's just as amazing this time! Daniel's bitterness, and his staunch refusal to let go and move on -- OMG I know folks like that -- I've been that guy myself before. So real, feels so true.
All the little details of Spock's human family, right down to the artwork in the common area and again in the temple, the bit where he asks Sarah what it is that Daniel needs, and she tells him, nothing that you or any of us can ever give him... Yowch. Cos sometimes that's just *how it is*, and Sarah tries so hard to help Spock to understand, though it isn't really anything that makes sense and in the end he just doesn't understand.
The bit where Spock shows Jim his new invention -- sneaky, workin' a holodeck in there, mm, nice! Very very hot stuff right there, woo!
Just, every little bit of this is so perfect, just as it is. Lovely lovely work, m'dear!
Date: 10/23/2010 6:15 PM Title: Part Five: Tarsus
Spock will be there to keep him on track. I have to believe there is enough of what he could have been to keep him from becoming Kodos' reflection.
This has been a very good story fraught with so much pain and disillusionment. I admit to being tempting to cease reading due to the constant upheaval of my emotional state, too much anger and sadness. A tribute to the author's way with words to affect my emotions to such a degree.
Date: 10/23/2010 6:04 PM Title: Part 4: Planetfall
As much as I was caught up in K/S attempts to understand each other and cross the huge gap created by their mutual otherness, Daniel's relentless hold onto his pain and isolation was captivating. He loves but the other must suffer to be worthy of it. Sad for his relationship with his family, that isn't one. Sad for Daniel to lose Spock to life itself.