Date: 10/19/2010 11:08 PM Title: Cover My Eyes
Story: After being apart of this fandom for a year (I know, newbie) and lurking on this site and reading tons of wonderful fics for the same length of time, I finally finally got myself an account simply for the purpose of telling you how wonderful this story is.
And it is. I often make a habit out of avoiding Song Fics because they usually become cheasy and vapid and gross. But this was lovely, eloquent and very nearly heartbreaking. The way in which you described Kirk's pain just ebbed so poignantly that I could not help but note that this was a story where real talent existed, even outside of the fandom.
In short: Good job, this was incredibly well done.
Awww, don't feel like a newbie for only being a part of this fandom for a year -- that's how long I've been a part of this wonderful community ^_^ And I'm ecstatic I was able to coax a fellow lurker out into the open!
Thank you so much -- this really means a lot to me! I've always been confused as to why I don't see as many Song Fics out there -- but this would explain so much! I was actually debating for a long time whether I should just remove the lyrics completely and leave the story to stand on its own -- but seeing as I wrote it FOR the lyrics, I decided to keep them :)
Date: 10/09/2010 9:22 PM Title: Cover My Eyes
You had me brushing tears from my cheeks when Spock rejected Kirk's desperate plea for love the first time. Jim's irrepressible yearning in the first part of the story, his torment at seeing Spock with Uhura, knowing there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell he might ever be loved by the Vulcan that way and his soul-deep agony when all faint hopes were crushed mercilessly were palpable, jumping at me right off the page to grab me by the throat. I don't know the song you used, but I like the lyrics, dark as they may be. However, the music that played in my mind while I read this was that of Christina Aguilera's Hurt - it's the one song that represents unbearable loss to me. It was beautifully, if heartbreakingly done.
In comparison to that huge wave of dying-inside-ness, the part with Spock coming around felt almost too easy; just breaking up with Uhura and telling Jim a bond formed between them - not that he loves him, or is happy of the bond, just that it happened. I felt like there should have been some minute signs of Spock's confusion during the last week, of him being caught looking at Jim, of him not appearing in public with Uhura anymore (although it's true Kirk probably wouldn't have noticed, in the state he was in). But it would have made a bit of a transition. I also wish we could have gotten more of an insigt into Spock's feelings for Jim, because with the gaping well of Jim's emotions for the Vulcan, I had a need to be sure Spock could truly fill it. Was worthy of that love. However, I was relieved enough that he DID come to Jim and offered him renewed hope and affection that I did not mind as much as I mght have. :) You have a very nice, powerfully emotional writing style I enjoyed very much.
Thank you very much for sharing this story with us.
When I started this fic, one of the parts that were clearest in my mind was actually the last scene -- and when I plotted it out, it actually had the most detail to it. But when it came time to write it? The first scenes, all the way up to the rejection, flowed easily. But it was the ending I struggled with the most: I just didn't know how to get out everything I needed to. The problem actually came down to the style used to express the angst -- the story itself is so sparse with dialogue that having Spock talk for pages and pages of text just felt like a completely different story. I rewrote it several times, and this was the piece that I felt worked the best. My muse was intent on the aching and the pain, and seemed at a loss as to how to wrap everything up!
Then I was also restricted by the length of the song -- in order to keep up the structure I was using, it had to wrap up in just one scene. Difficult, and I can definitely see how it seems rushed and too easy. But I wanted the story to end well, and didn't have any more room to work with! After reading your suggestions, I might go back and tweak it a bit. See if I can make the end flow a bit better and find a way to put in more of what Spock feels for Jim.
Be that as it may, thank you for the lovely and detailed comment! I am so happy the angst worked so well -- it's such a thin line to tread, between too much and too little. I'm always afraid I will overdo it. And I'm also glad that you didn't mind the end as much as you would :)