Date: 06/26/2011 11:08 PM Title: Chapter 7
I loved it like usual...Jim had no idea that Spock saw him and Christopher together...For the moment Spock is ignoring him like the plague..and is really giving the cadet the evil eye.
Love the conversation between McCoy and Jim...of course McCoy knows...that was not discreet what happened on the bridge...oh how I see Kelley and Shatner....and the dialogue...is just so perfect....Yes Jim says the love word way too often...and we aren't surprised he has sex for the fun of it...there is no love between Jim and the cadet..but I do wonder if the cadet feels the same way....now with Spock there is something there...what will happen next...so waiting to find out...hurray up friday....well done my friend..
Date: 06/21/2011 4:41 PM Title: Chapter 6
OK, maybe not murder, but maim, you poor Spock, I hope Bones goes striaght to Jim and tears a stripe off of him. Please please write soon. Don't leave us hanging.
I do feel sorry for Spock too, even though I'm the one making him suffer. ;)
New chapter on Friday.
Date: 06/21/2011 8:07 AM Title: Chapter 1
Thanks so much for the little change, you're a gem. Can't wait for the next installment. :)
You're entirely welcome! Thanks for pointing it out - it's like I said: I'm always grateful when people point out mistakes. I try not to make them, but in a story this length, it's pretty much impossible. ;)
Date: 06/21/2011 2:54 AM Title: Chapter 1
I could never hate you...But damn..poor Spock.. I feel for him...who was chasing after him I wonder...hmmmm god, they are so in character it's eerie...damn eerie...wow..loving this so much...damn, Spock is going to give Cadet Christopher the Vulcan Death Glare when he sees him again...oh my...but I think that John is gonna figure out that Spock has feelings for Jim and will confront Jim about it... just guessing...The aliens are very interesting and one is taking a shine to Spock..so what is with that...hmmmm looking forward to the next chapter..Friday hurry up and get here....
I'm happy you continue to be enthusiastic! And this Friday you WILL get an update, so don't worry!
Date: 06/21/2011 12:42 AM Title: Chapter 1
@Mirrorgirl - I don't see where it says Kirk has blue eyes here... She described Pike as having blue eyes, which is the case.
Anyway the Shat's eyes are an odd colour anyway - they look either blue, green or brown at different times.
Date: 06/20/2011 11:09 PM Title: Chapter 1
I am loving this so far. I love the angst, and you're writing is superb, but OMG you've stabbed me through the heart saying Kirk had blue eyes...this is a TOS fic or am I mistaken? It just took me right out of the TOS Universe (which I love) and into the JJverse (which I don't really read). It hit me as hard as Spock seeing Jim and Christopher. I know I am pathetic, but can you change it?
If I've described Kirk's eyes as blue, I will make sure to change it - I'm glad you pointed it out! I'm always thinking of TOS when I write, and this is absolutely 100% TOS, but for some reason, Kirk has blue eyes in my head. Probably just because his eye color is kind of ... all over the place. But I'll make sure to take a look at that, and change it if I've made a mistake. ;)
I'm glad you like the story, though. :)
Date: 06/13/2011 2:20 AM Title: Chapter 5
Well, I, for one, am enjoying, angst and all.
Wonder if Kirk will own up to the narcissism inherent in sexing up Christopher, a guy who he admits reminds him of himself. Lol.
Haha, yes, Kirk's narcisism is one of the things that make him so fun to write.
Date: 06/12/2011 1:33 AM Title: Chapter 5
I was waiting so long for the next chapter and you didn't disappoint. What a very passionate chapter between Jim and Christopher...You wrote the sex scene without going into detail and I loved the fact that you did that. You did mention you would be doing that and it works...it makes our imagination even better..and you write Jim so spot on....it's uncanny...when he said the line..Believe me it's a compliment..oh that was Shatner............damn your good. Of course I am looking forward more to the plot of the story and why poor Spock is acting the way he is. Him and Jim are so sweet together and I so wanted them to kiss like Jim wanted..but they will have their time ....eventually...awesome chapter and can't wait for the next one...
As always, your review makes me smile. I'm glad I didn't disappoint (that would have been a real shame after having made you wait so long). I'm glad you approve of my Kirk. He can be really hard to write sometimes, because he's so multifaceted, but I do adore him, and I'm glad I'm doing him justice.
I know many people are fond of more explicit sex scenes, but, well, I'm not, so I'm glad what I've done works. My beta Judin thinks I'm a copout. Haha. ;)
As mentioned, I really hope I can get the rewrite of chapter 6 done by Friday, but seeing as I have my last final this week, it's by no means certain. I'll try my best though.
Date: 06/11/2011 7:17 PM Title: Chapter 5
I think we need rid of Christopher. Kirk is getting his rocks off, but it will never last. It's affecting Spock and could lead to his demise. Also maybe this planet is affecting Spock as well.
I love Christopher! He's so annoying and in the way! :P And also, awesome.
You think Spock could die from unrequited Kirk love? Hmm ... interesting ...
Date: 06/05/2011 1:11 AM Title: Chapter 4
I do love plot-based fanfics. :D And this one certainly looks interesting! I did notice the way Kirk looked at Captain Christopher (didn't we all), and am glad that he's finally being used in a fanfic!
Small criticism: Chapter 2, when Scotty said people there were 'badly burnt, but no casualties'... surely they would be casualties by the very nature of being injured? But that was literally the only thing that irked me, so all in all, pretty good going.
I eagerly await new chapters. (:
Thanks for your comment!
I do see how casualty can be a confusing word in that context. It can be used to indicate people who have been injured, people who have been killed, or both at the same time. I'll definitely look into finding a replacement word there, so as to avoid any future confusion. ;) Thanks for pointing it out!
Date: 06/01/2011 4:57 AM Title: Chapter 4
Okay, so I googled triquetra and got some triskelions instead but finally found out it's a triskelion (hehe, Trek reference) with a circle superimposed. You asked for concrit earlier so here's where I put on my bore hat and suggest that you briefly explain to the reader what they are looking at because apparently while triquetra is well known to fans of a certain witchy TV show (although I watched that show, too, and never heard of the thing) it's not exactly everyday parlance.
I appreciate your feedback! And I understand what you are saying. I do actually spend quite a bit of time getting the characters to explain stuff for the readers' benefit. It's hard work. ;) Seeing, however, as the triquetra is such a frequently used symbol, not just in Charmed (to which I assume you're referring when you say "witchy TV show"), but also in many different religions, as well as in a lot of myths and lore. I kind of assume people have heard about it, or otherwise that they can do as you did, and simply google it. I will, however, go through the end of the chapter again as soon as I have a free moment, and see if I can't find a decent way of throwing in a small description, but I'm afraid it might come across as rather "explanatory", which makes for boring reading.
Sorry to leave you with that cliffhanger, by the way. I'm glad the story is engaging you, though. The next chapter will, sadly, not be up this Friday, due to finals, but I will have it up next week.