Date: 11/25/2011 8:06 PM Title: Chapter 1
This was an intriguing story, and very well done for a first time. I do think you would benefit from a beta reader, there is such s difference between the structure of German and English sentences that it is sometimes difficult to switch between them. I'd be happy to work with you on this, just let me know.
Date: 07/25/2011 11:40 PM Title: Chapter 1
It is difficult to write even in your own language such a hard subject. I once thought vulcan children sensible, but if cannon can have them exhibit illlogical racial predudice and insults and if T'Pol could encounter mind rape perhaps vulcans are not as nice to one another as they pretend to others they are.
It seems to be a truth that people wish to deny abuse or not talk of it (Sarek's reaction) or simply never speak out that it happened. Your story picking up the triggering of the bad past with awakening sexual desire rings so true.
I love the trnslation medical secrecy we call it medical confidentiality but your translation is much more meaningful and less like medical-speak. I will remember that in my day job.
Keep trying and practicing, may I aske what your firdt language is?
Thank you very much for your review. My first language is german.
Date: 07/25/2011 10:39 PM Title: Chapter 1
Yes, this is very promising. It's a bit rough in spots. I would have liked to see Jim have to work a bit harder (and wait a bit longer) before he and Spock ended up in bed, but it was a very sweet, loving story.
Thank you very much.
Date: 07/25/2011 10:37 PM Title: Chapter 1
Aww, it's rather sweet. The English isn't bad - you might want to get a beta reader though. I liked nice Bones... He can do it, after all! Also, the idea of Spock what happened to Spock as a child is a new one, as far as I'm aware.
Well done on your first fic - it's nerve wracking, isn't it?
Yeah it was nerve wracking, but it is a nice work.
Thank you very much for your review