Date: 12/24/2015 10:32 AM Title: Epilogue
You ask how I think this should have fini? I have thought about this. What is needed is a closing thought of everything together. So, I would end up like this:
Spock caught a sudden sense of weariness from the human. He had endured so much loss.
‘But Peter is fine,’ he said quietly. ‘Your mother is fine. You are all healing.’
‘Yes, we’re all healing, Spock,’ Jim smiled. ‘You included. Come on, my lovely Vulcan. Let’s go into the house and celebrate with some of those donuts. 'He thought for a moment the cup of his father, how he had been broken, but was nowhealed without a trace of where the breaks were . It seemed at that time to represent all the eyes of Spock , the plot Federation , his relationship with Spock. Everything would have been torn to pieces. But all was restored. As if no problems have ever occurred.
'Also, coffee in a large brown mug.'-
Excuse my impertinent thoughts and bad english.
I love that idea of bring the mug in! Thank you :-) I might have a work on it when I get the chance :-)
Date: 12/23/2015 10:14 AM Title: Epilogue
I love this novel very much until the last lines of this chapter. They feel to me to be unpolished and lack denouement and I am sorry to have to say to be a weak way to end a great story. Until this ending, I was 'fabulous!'. Then after this ending, I am deflated and left saying, Oh, is that it?' It is like walked away without finishing his partner's climax. "Oh, Okay then, Bye.' Zut alors!
Endings are always hard. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it. How do you think it should have ended?
Date: 11/09/2015 5:11 AM Title: Epilogue
Bravo! I really enjoyed this explorational "What if". Thank you for sharing it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :-)
Date: 11/04/2015 7:37 PM Title: Chapter 27
Eigentlich muss diese Geschichte als Buch gedruckt werden.
Sie einfach zu gut,
Du bist zu gut um als Lohn für diese arbeit nur diese Worte zu erhalten.
Danke sehr. Sie sind sehr lieb :-)
Date: 11/03/2015 2:23 PM Title: Chapter 27
Uh-oh, I'm not so certain about Hussein based on that last paragraph. Just when I thought you were winding down I am now uncertain where you're going. I like to be surprised btw. Looking forward to the next chapter!
I should have it up soon :-) I'm trying to catch up with replying to reviews first though!!
Date: 10/11/2015 3:54 AM Title: Chapter 26
Again, I'm thrilled Spock is regaining his eye sight. Maybe it's my imagination, but I don't trust Admiral Williams. Didn't Peter say he saw some human names on Spock's padd? Will they actually get that computer or destroy what's on it. Plus, will Spock be cleared of the murder charges? Hmmmm. Love the chapter.
Date: 10/11/2015 3:41 AM Title: Chapter 25
What a relief!!! OMG Spock is regaining some vision in his eye. I'd be excited as well. Not surprised Jim kissed him. You sure have a knack of describing tension. Very nerve wracking chapter. Finally, they are on a Federation ship, away from those Orions.
Female Doctor McCoy was hilarious.
Thanks :D I like female-Doctor-McCoy :D There hasn't been enough McCoy in this story, really.
Date: 10/11/2015 3:30 AM Title: Chapter 24
Peter is a very brave young boy. Spock finally knows the names that was on his padd. Damn Orions, it's a race against time.
Peter is a cool dude :D I think he's a bit overlooked sometimes in this story - but then again with some of the things Jim and Spock have been doing it's probably best he's out of the room...
Date: 10/11/2015 3:17 AM Title: Chapter 23
Damn that Vulcan, Stolk. He got what he deserved. Spock is doing pretty good so far. Fortunately, Jim is on the ship with him. I was thrilled when they finally reunited. Now, that Peter is rescued, they need to hurry up and get the hell out of there.
I liked how you described Spock entering Jim's mind. They are now one, Spock seeing through Jim's eyes, must be overwhelming.
Thank you :-) I love describing Spock's mind melds. So fun.