Date: 06/28/2016 7:45 PM Title: Epilogue
Id never read this fic before today but it was compelling. I almost felt like I was watching your muse. What if Mitchell hadn't died what kind of man would he have been. Frustrating it would only work if Spock were younger in age but that was the only sensible plot device. But what really was enjoyable is that everyone around sees Spock as young and naive yet inReality he is anything but!
Lit was also a realistic tale of abuse and how those around react. Finally it was skilfully executed the dialogue sections especially felt realistic and not contrived.
I am so grateful for your very thoughtful and highly positive review! I am glad you had the chance to read this story and enjoy it. It's not an easy tale to read, so I really do appreciate the time you took to get into it. And you GOT Spock!! LOL...he's quite something here, isn't he? Writing this was a great deal of fun for me...hard to believe its been SIX years since I did it. Again, thank you so much for dropping by and leaving such a great comment!
Date: 11/16/2014 2:01 AM Title: Chapter Eleven
Many thoughts about these last chapters. Kirk seems so unconnected from what is happening around him. Except for his conversations with Spock, he seems in a fog. I do not doubt that this is purposeful on your part. It is just so disconcerting that he can be disgusted with/turned off by/resisting Gary one minute and solicitous and affectionate toward him the next. It is also disconcerting that there seems to be no real -- for lack of a better word -- substance in their relationship. They seem to engage about almost nothing except material possessions and entertainment. For that matter, I don't see the other senior Starfleet officers engaging in substantive conversation, either. How this fits in with the story of spousal abuse, or if it does, is something I haven't figured out yet,
The mention of surrogacy is another hint of things gone wrong in their relationship in the past. Looking forward to learning more ...
Wow, I'm thrilled you've stuck with the story this far! Thank you so much for such cogent thoughts about what you're reading; I thoroughly appreciate them! Their union is a corpse; all they are doing is going through the motions at this stage. Dissatisfaction with almost every area of his life haunts Kirk, it truly does. Yet he refuses to throw in the towel, so to speak. But to what end? What's the use? Part of this is middle-aged anomie, it happens at some point to many of us, at that age (I'm pushing sixty myself)...part of it is the general malaise of the times in which they live. And disconcerting is the precise word for the entire scenario; here you've really hit the nail on the head. There is a miasma, a sadness, an unrelenting sorrow. For Kirk, there is no joy...except when he is with Spock, whose presence is virtually intoxicating to Kirk. Please, do read on, I would love to read more of your thoughts!
Date: 11/15/2014 10:35 PM Title: Chapter Eight
I didn't intend to read the story this quickly -- though I'd take it a chapter at a time -- but it has become so intriguing that it is hard to put it down Now it seems there may be "logical" explanations for Gary's behavior, for Kirk's denial and the fact that Kirk lets the abuse continue when he clearly has the ability to stop it. The reference to Kirk's sexual abuse or rape on Tarsus IV suggests the cause of perhaps some part of the mystery. But I am sure it is going to turn out to be quite complex, and I am looking forward to it.
Date: 11/15/2014 8:20 PM Title: Chapter Seven
Wow. If K irk ever needed Spock, now is the time. Dr. Berenboehem's advice seems so terribly wrong. her analysis of Gary sounds right, but I don't understand why she'd give Kirk the advice she did. Kirk still comes across to me as though he's sleepwalking through life ... sort of in a fog. He seemed more alive when he was dreaming about Spock.
Date: 11/15/2014 4:06 PM Title: Chapter Four
Just wanted to mention that I was impressed by this passage:
It was the same old recollection--- the harsh stench of spent radioactivity and burned laser isotopes; the smoke-filled air harsh and scorching his lungs, Mitchell-Kirk’s smudged face, the dark brown eyes wide with dumfounded agony and shock, the lips parted and the bloodied tongue lolling forth. Mitchell-Kirk collapsing against him, his left side ripped open, excoriated by the blast from that Klingon disruptor, his entire corpus steeped in dark blood and matted gore from the waist down. The body falling heavily against Kirk, who screamed with horror: “Gary! Gary! No, Gary, no, no, no….”
The writing is vivid, and it's a great way to tell the story of Gary's terrible injuries in the course of saving Kirk's life. (Although I haven't read further in the story yet, my working hypothesis is that this is a large part of why they got married and remain together.) I like this way of telling the story -- in vivid flashbacks and other methods of "showing, not telling" -- more than I like exposition as a way of explaining the background. Just a personal preference.
Date: 11/14/2014 10:54 PM Title: Chapter Four
You've certainly captured the volatility of their relationship, the undercurrent of fear that Kirk must have about what Gary is likely to do next. I wonder how the relationship between Zhou and Vasquez will figure into the story. With the age gap between them, it seems they might be helping Kirk to figure out how a May-September relationship between himself and Spock might work out.
Kirk seems curiously disengaged here, as though events are happening to someone else.
At times I wonder who is telling the story, with the sometimes-rapid shifts in point of view. For example, during sex, when Gary is not looking at Kirk's face, who tells us that "His [Kirk's] eyes flashed open, pale green and pale gold by turns, watering and burning"?
Ah, McCoy's insight about the guilt at the core of their relationship ...
Date: 11/14/2014 6:33 PM Title: Chapter Three
The shower scene from Spock's point of view ... oh, my. Reading about Kirk's and Gary's background, I wondered how likely it is that a healthy relationship of dominance and submission might lead to an abusive relationship. Is there any research on this topic? I hope there is no correlation.
I did volumes of research on physical and psychological abuse in domestic relationships, both in opposite as well as same-gendered. I do not believe there is a direct correlation between consensual, healthy dominance and submission and that form of abuse. Domestic abuse is something altogether different, its genus and origins are different. There are basics, of course, but the path and trajectory of each relationship vary, depending on the couple involved. More will be explored about Gary and Kirk's marriage, their shared personal and intimate history. There will be a great amount revealed and clarified.
Date: 11/14/2014 5:19 PM Title: Chapter One
I discovered this story belatedly and was instantly hooked. Fascinating set of A/U premises. I wonder if part of the dynamic underlying the apparent dysfunction in the Mitchell/Kirk relationship is guilt -- Kirk's for Gary's act of almost giving his life for him; Gary's for Kirk's giving up his career as a starship commander for him?
The story has a "zine-ish" feel, with a good part of the story told through exposition. I got the impression that nominally at least, the story of the couple's past was told by Kirk as the narrator, but it read, to me, as though it were told by an objective narrator outside the story. I read Hypatia Kosh's review of this chapter and your response, and I was very interested to read that you were aiming for a somewhat confused and hazy recollection by Kirk. I do see that. It would have helped me see that if Kirk's narration had had more of the markers of an unreliable (or a not- totally reliable) narrator. As it is, I will confess that the "objective" ring of the narrative fooled me.
Wondering why, if it only takes a few seconds to tell the replicator what to produce, Kirk didn't wait until Gary came home so he could ask him what he wanted for dinner? Or was he preparing something he knew Gary liked?
Actually, regarding the replicator scene, Kirk had been trying half the day to get in contact with Gary...he'd tried several times to no avail. Ordinarily he would definitely have connected with his husband and they would have made a mutual decision about supper...but Gary was MIA for the duration of the afternoon. Kirk was more or less on his own. It's in there, it's noted in the story. :)
Date: 09/14/2014 2:53 PM Title: Chapter Twenty-Five
This story is fabulously addicting! Even though just once I wished you cld have used any term sexier instead of the word tumescent now and then - I still loved it and the equally stimulating artwork! ;-)
I thank you for the comment. However, telling an author how to re-write their story so that YOU can enjoy it better is kind of wrong. Please stop doing that; it's annoying. I use the words I choose because they suit the story not to attract readers. Don't like; don't read. Simple as that. Tumescent and tumescence are great terms, frequently used in erotic text and not just by me. Glad you "loved it" anyway.
Date: 09/13/2014 11:32 PM Title: Chapter Seven
Fantastic chapter! Very scary and exciting when Gary gets out of control, you write his abusive behavior perfectly. I am so glad Spock is there now - I have a feeling he won't let Kirk even think of going back to that a-hole!
Date: 09/13/2014 2:52 PM Title: Chapter Three
I wanted to add a compliment at how well you describe every scene especially abuse and sex scenes. So despite using rarely used words like; osculation, frenulum, irrumated and adroitly among others that I don't understand - you do write scenes well enough that allow readers to visualize every moment. That takes patience and talent!
Thank you so much...it means a lot to me that you derived pleasure from the read! I did what I could, writing this really had me on fire, so knowing that you and others enjoyed it totally makes my day!
Date: 09/13/2014 2:33 PM Title: Chapter Three
ANother great story from you - very unique plotline. I do sense an overuse of the Thesaurus though which is usually noted by the use of many many complicated adjectives that no one is familiar with. Makes it harder to read when you don't know what some of these rarely used words even mean. One that is used perhaps too much in both your stories is the word "tumescent". Not a big deal but just an observation. I hope you don't mind my candor, I don't mean it as flame or anything, just feedback. :-) Still awesome stories!!
Yes, I'm pretty obnoxious with utlization of sophisticated terminlogy. It's a habit I happily cultivate. Anyone who reads my work makes the adjustment...I don't plan to stop because it gives me so much pleasure to do it. Thesaurus. MWAH~ LOLOL! Tumescent is a rather obnoxious word, another one I overuse is "febrile"...that I'm trying to stop, as a matter of fact I really don't care for "tumescent" at all. I appreciate your candor, in fact I CRAVE it! And I'm extremely gratified that you enjoyed the story, despite having to plow through so many obscure words! :D
Date: 09/11/2014 5:27 AM Title: Epilogue
Amazed that I never read this before. Meticulously researched and thoroughly believable AU. Great writing from the literary point of view
Thank you so much for this review; and above all thank you very much for the comment on the research...I was OBSESSED when I wrote this story which was drafted five years ago (can't believe it's been that long already!)...took over my life...but all in all I had so much fun, I hardly noticed the fact that I was writing constantly, living at the keyboard...
Your review made my day, greatly appreciate it!
Date: 07/07/2013 12:02 AM Title: Cover Page
Wow, fantastic story. A very painful and open look at domestic violence - I never pictured Kirk as a victim before, but the way you've written this demonstrates how it can happen to anybody, how complex and entangled the relationship with the abuser is.
I really enjoyed it, thanks so much for posting it.
Thank you so much for the comment/review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it...as profoundly sad and shocking as it is, I totally enjoyed writing it! I'm really pleased that you "got" the angle of the story...that even someone as brilliant, charismatic and brave as James Tiberius Kirk can become addicted psychologically to a toxic relationship...and allow himself to be rescued by one true love.
Date: 05/06/2013 10:43 PM Title: Epilogue
A VERY interesting version of the Kirk/Spock relationship!
And so compellingly written I had to essentially put my life on hold until I could complete the story!
You read reallly FAST! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thank you!
Date: 04/25/2013 10:42 AM Title: Chapter Twenty-Four
Green thumb, LOL. That was a good one...
I'm happy they've decided to leave the house, it felt somewhat inappropriate for Spock to just... replace Gary there.
They are starting their lives over, beginning a whole new adventure all their own. It was time to put the past behind them, and that includes that house. :)
Date: 04/24/2013 11:58 AM Title: Chapter Twenty-One
Oh I was terrified thinking Spock was going to kill Gary and lose Kirk's love. You really got me there, well done!
Spock's rage...so justified. So RAW. Even as I was writing it, I FELT that sense of outrage, that fury. Thank you for this comment!
Date: 04/23/2013 11:37 AM Title: Chapter Nineteen
“Does this mean no more sex?”
XD XD XD
You killed me with laughter! Nervous laughter...
This chapter is heart-stopping at more than one point. Not to mention hot, I mean Vulcan hot!
I'm thrilled you're enjoying this! Nervous laughter indeed! :D Thank you so much for your comment!