Date: 07/03/2014 10:32 AM Title: Pilgrim of Eternity
Very very well done story! I love how you explained each segment of Kirk's tough life. Truly a well written story for certain!!! The only thing I found to be a bit distracting from the story was the long section immed after the George Harrison quote and the statement from Bones that starts with; "Well Hobgoblin . . ." because it was so long of a section that for me it disrupted the telling of what Kirk and his Taurus IV family was doing planetside to find Kodos. But that's just me probably, I like more dialogue in a story and less narration and back story stuff. I find myself skipping ahead just to get back to what's going on with the dangerous mission. Still KUDOS for this awesome story!!!!
Date: 02/19/2014 2:44 AM Title: Pilgrim of Eternity
I am quite speechless at the intensity of this chapter. I love the stile, your writing is so capturing, it just glued me to the screen! You are doing a great job at giving a character profile to the brilliant erratic person nu!Kirk is, you give him a depth that I think not even who "created" him knew he had. I truely hope you are going to stick to this story, don't let us wait too long for the next bit, please!
I'm glad you like it so much! I'm such an English nerd. I absolutely LOVE character development. Most of my fics center on it in fact. I don't know if I went all J.J. Abrams pro like you said, but I definitely found this fic challenging. It's hard to write tragedy without making it too maudlin you know? I'll stick to the story, but I can't promise an update soon. I work full time and go ot school full time, so writing is more like a vacation thing. I won't leave you hanging though! Thanks again for the review!!
Date: 02/18/2014 9:47 PM Title: Pilgrim of Eternity
wow wow wow amazing story. I really love your Kirk voice. The part where he almost killed himself with four hypos and didn't notice Bones coming in to celebrate his b-day was really great. As was the one where his mum came to visit him in the hospital and Spock ended up nerve pinching her. I see a pattern here, I guess I like to see Kirk suffer and somebody come help/save him. Probably because it's so special, seeing as he's not used to it. And I love how he thinks about his kids and loves them above all.
The part where Kodos raped him really shocked me, though. Didn't see that one coming. But I like how you wrote his time on Tarsus - not going into too much detail yet explaining more than enough to shock and disgust. Great job.
Thank you for posting this!
Thank you for such a thoughtful review! I actually hadn't noticed that pattern, but I like it. :) Sorry it got a bit graphic, but I felt that it needed to be in the story to get the right balance you know? I feel that the kind of person Kirk inherently is (nu or TOS) would need a lot of pushing before he began thinking of suicide, so I had to make the scenes tragic and graphic enough to necessitate such a strong reaction. Thanks again!!
Date: 02/16/2014 8:21 AM Title: Pilgrim of Eternity
Stories running away with you........
What strikes me here is the dramatic tension of this piece. You also capture the emotional undercurrents of CofTK such as Spock's dogged investigating. I like the idea of weaving Rand in. Also love the thought of Spock and McCoy beaming in without communicators. I also have the feeling your version might draw parallels between Winona's cruel words and those of Kodos such people have the same skills of manipulation and cruelty. This will definitely be a fic worth waiting for
Thank you for such a thoughtful review! I don't know when I'll get around to chapter two, but I'll try not to keep everyone waiting too long!