Date: 03/27/2015 1:33 AM Title: Spock
Hi Ro! I thought this entire story was amazing, and especially your characterization of Jim. Actually, I believe I said that as well with "Undone", and in each story you have taken us on a journey into this particular character that richly illuminated some of his strengths and some of his weaknesses, and I've loved every bit. I mentioned before that there was a near-horror element in this: a look at a man so determined and with such intelligence and resources and inner fire at his command that he dared the impossible. And did he brush the boundaries of insanity in so doing? Your writing is powerful and intense, and this story was brilliant. Thank you so much. -Cate
I love being complimented on my characterization of Jim! I like to focus on a character as a whole, so I do try to capture all of the flaws as well as everything else. And yes, in this story I definitely wanted to push things, to really explore the darkness in Jim especially, so I'm glad that came across. I love how perceptive you are, because all of that is exactly what I was trying to convey! Thank you for reading! =)
Date: 03/27/2015 12:33 AM Title: Spock
I knew this would be a brilliant story, and it is. The building mystery and denouement was very well done.
You do realize that this cries out for a sequel. Spock's list of things he needs to accomplish sounds to me like the elements of a necessary follow-up story. Seriously, I am worried about Kirk's being relieved of command, or worse.
In the previous chapters, your portrayal of Kirk reminded me of the Kirk of the episode "Obsession." As I believe Werewolvesarereal commented, as you portrayed Kirk in the second chapter, he seemed to have a manic edge. He was intent on his goal to the point of obsession, but he was animated by a clear vision that turned out to be absolutely right. And he was very much in control of the actions he needed to carry out to fulfill his purpose -- as he was in "Obsession." (I have always enjoyed the slashy subtext of that episode, and Spock's reaction to Kirk's being in danger. It seems they were both a bit manic in that episode.)
In this last chapter, I felt as though the story was beginning to go in a different direction. Kirk was so needy, so unable to be apart from Spock, in a way that (it seemed to me) went beyond the undertandable joy and relief of their reunion. He was no longer the brilliant, competent leader, the strategist who is always three steps ahead of everyone around him. It made me wonder if Kirk has been changed in some fundamental way by his relationship or bond with Spock. And to me, that's another story ... perhaps a contination of this story, perhaps a different story.
This passage especially caught my eye: "The fierce grip on his wrist eased, and Jim slid his hand up Spock’s arm, resting it finally on his shoulder. He seemed hesitant to meet Spock’s eyes, but when he did the expression there was uncertain, and so wholly unlike him that Spock felt a flash of guilt at having caused it.
"'You’re right. That would be the responsible thing to do,' Jim conceded, brow furrowed. 'We have a ship to run.'"
Wow. James T. Kirk, needing to be reminded that he has a ship to run? And uncertain about his obligtions. This is worrisome. Has Kirk's ability to command been compromised by his bond with Spock?
I don't know if your intent was to leave us thinking about these questions and possibilities, to set the stage for a sequel, or .... something else. All I know is that if you write more about the issues in this story, I will read it eagerly,
Kirk definitely had a manic edge throughout the story and was mercilessly driving himself in his quest to get Spock back, so by the time he did get him back he had reached the limits of his endurance and was in serious need of a break. I honestly don't think Bones would have stood for Jim seeing to any ship's business until he'd had a good rest, so it's just as well that Spock kept him in bed! There is a bit more to it than that, of course, but as Spock noted, it would simply take a little time for him to fully heal.
I did give the story a darker feel and perhaps some unanswered questions, but Spock's determination at the end is meant in a way to mirror Jim's, so that you can have hope that Spock will make sure everything turns out well for Jim.
It would be interesting to explore exactly how Spock goes about making sure everything turns out ok, but I can't promise I'll find the time to write that. I have so many fully-formed stories just screaming to be written, but I will keep this story in mind in case inspiration for a sequel strikes. Thank you so much for reading! =)
Date: 03/26/2015 8:28 AM Title: Spock
Fabulous story. Really enjoyed this. Thank you!
Thank you so much for reading, and for the comment!
Date: 03/26/2015 3:55 AM Title: James T. Kirk
This was so very elegant and brilliant and totally enjoyed. It is rare to get a completely original take on this beloved pair
Somehow I missed this comment! Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm really glad you enjoyed this. =D
Date: 03/25/2015 1:54 AM Title: Leonard McCoy
A slingshot around the sun in order to go back in time was the first thing I thought of when I read Chapter 1, but the Vulcan text on the device suggested that Spock had a plan, so now I'm wondering what's up. Guess I'll just have to put my curosity on hold until Chapter 3. :-)
Date: 03/24/2015 9:33 PM Title: Leonard McCoy
Oh, the tension in this perfect. And Kirk's edge of mania seems like a very in-character reaction to grief; he definitely wouldn't be one to sit around, he's just so reactive. Wonderful as a story and character piece (and I can't wait to see what he was doing with poor Scotty, ha). Thanks for sharing :)
Yes, I agree about Kirk being reactive! I appreciate your comment and I'm glad you like the story so far!
Date: 03/24/2015 8:32 PM Title: Leonard McCoy
Combined with the Icarus analogy in the epigraph and Kirk's behavior throughout the story so far, this is seriously, seriously scary. No, make that utterly terrifying. Wondering why the Vulcan scientist is speaking in cool tones throughout all this. This is excellent writing, with perfect control of characterization and the mounting mystery. I will be waiting with my heart in my throat for the concluding chapter.
I'm so glad you appreciated the Icarus analogy! There is almost a horror element to the story, but I hope that the last chapter will resolve everything in a satisfying way for you. As usual, I love your thoughtful comments, and I thank you for reading! =)
Date: 03/24/2015 12:43 AM Title: James T. Kirk
Very interesting so far; I'm eager to see where this is going.
Well, it sounds like maybe Spock is going to have done something resourceful and brilliant, but then, he does that sort of thing. :-)
Thank you for reading!
Indeed, he does. =)
Date: 03/23/2015 10:55 PM Title: James T. Kirk
I think this is going to be a brilliant story. High-caliber angst coupled with a compelling mystery -- I can't wait for more.
Thank you so much! I'm hoping to post the last two chapters tomorrow if my schedule allows. I hope you are pleased with the ending! =)