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Reviewer: FanficTrekkie Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/29/2015 10:04 PM Title: one

I just noticed my review came across more abrupt than I meant it, if I hadn't loved your story so much I prob wldn't have cared how it ended, I just never understood why a writer wld end a story with a downer when they cld if anything, just continue with the story until the two soulmates were reunited.

Reviewer: FanficTrekkie Signed [Report This]
Date: 03/29/2015 9:57 PM Title: one

I don't understand why you wld end such a magnificent story in such a horrible way.  No one wants to read a great love story only to have the ending leave them feeling like crap.  Is there a sequel I missed or something?  I think it wld have been better if after Spock punches Jim in the mouth near the end, if Kirk decided to just fight out their feelings and mutual anger and resentments over the rape, and gives Spock a punch rt back after a few minutes.  Then fighting continues as they yell out what resentments they are still holding onto with each other until all fight is gone and they embrace and start to heal.

Reviewer: Servatia83 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/12/2014 4:26 PM Title: one

So I'm deciding this is followed by the Motion Picture. Spock will come back and at the latest in that sickbay scene they get back together. Otherwise this would be unbearable.

Author's Response:

You're correct.  It would take something very traumatic to make Spock leave.

Reviewer: starskyslady Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 04/26/2013 7:31 AM Title: one

 Out of the hundreds of fanfics over many different shows that I have read, this one is the most heartbreaking in it's realism. I, too, kept waiting for them to move towards the "happy ending" but they way it was written, the more I read I could see...that was not to be.

Unfortunatly, I've been "in Jim's position". It's a fanfic and reality fallicy that, with the right person loving you, you recover. There are lucky ones that do...but truthfully most take years and some just never do. This is the only fic I have read that confronts that head on and it's done to perfection.

As dark and hard to read this fic deserved EVERY award out there! I know it will stay with me for a very long time. Plus it's a great prolog to ST:TMP and gives the reader a backstory that it took years for Kirk and Spock to even see each other. Very realistic.

This is written, from beginning to end, in sheer perfection. ...and I have read some really great fics out there...


Author's Response:

Thanks so much.  I wanted to give them a happy ending, but it was just too much to overcome.  Probably the hardest thing I've ever written.


Reviewer: PaintedBird Signed [Report This]
Date: 12/04/2012 4:58 AM Title: one

This is a strong and powerful story that is also deeply distressing.  Spock would certainly need Gol after this experience, wouldn't he?  I always pull for the happy ending, and this isn't one.  However, we do have the benefit of knowing what comes next, don't we?  Well done.

Reviewer: ironland Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/30/2011 2:32 PM Title: one

Hell incredible!
I love this story ,I hate this story.

Great job.Thank you.

Reviewer: missfae Signed [Report This]
Date: 04/09/2011 9:11 PM Title: one

So sad but it was a realistic outcome.  Thank you for writing this.  Hugs.

Reviewer: oyboh Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 01/09/2011 12:47 PM Title: one


Author's Response: You are one fast reader! Thanks - again.

Reviewer: TechnoPoet Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 10/29/2010 2:13 PM Title: one

This story definitely deserved the best K/S novel award.

It's a perfectly heartbreaking story. The entire thing with the creature was written very well, each bit of pain, and each small glimmer of hope, and the reactions to it afterwards. It makes me feel very bad for Spock, everyone prodding him exactly where it hurts - the bond, and his human emotion. Even doing it for a good reason, as McCoy used it against him to keep him alive, was excruciating pain for him (but written very well). 

I liked the ending. It was the most heartbreaking moment of the story, but in a way, it wasn't as sad as when the creature first started ruining things. Nearing the end, I could see that it was starting to reach the point where they couldn't get back together, at least not in this story, so it wasn't as shocking as it possibly could have been. But I do like how it ended with McCoy's perspective, and him having some small hope that things would someday bring them together again.

That Spock had been planning to leave Kirk even before the creature had inhabited his mind was a painful but inevitable revelation - I think no matter what the situation, Spock would have eventually broken down in some way and acknowledged that he needed time.

This is the type of story that one would think would need a sequel, but I think it works really well as it is, with its sequel being Star Trek: The Motion Picture. There was once a story similar to this that tried to link itself to TMP, but it just didn't seem like it would turn out right, whereas this story is written in such a way that I can see how it could explain their reactions towards each other in that movie.

Brilliant story, I definitely enjoyed it!

Reviewer: Kayln Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 04/12/2010 5:50 AM Title: one

Outstanding!!! Highly deserving of 2008 best novel honor!!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much, Kayln. I'm glad you enjoyed it (although enjoyed isn't probably the best word to use).  It was a very difficult story to write and it's gratifying to hear that it was worth the effort.


Reviewer: sherryillk Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/11/2010 7:26 AM Title: one

Singularly the most heart-breaking story I have read of this pairing yet. Absolutely broke my heart but I loved every moment of it.

I had hoped for a sequel and searched for one, hoping beyond hope that these two could have their happy ending but I suppose it was not meant to be... Still, it was a wonderful story and I'm glad I had read it.

Author's Response:

I've always thought of ST:TMP as the sequel, that the story picks up there.

Thanks for the feedback. It is always much appreciated.


Reviewer: kuhekabir Signed [Report This]
Date: 01/02/2010 4:58 PM Title: one

is there a sequel or happy conculsion?

Reviewer: Flamilio Signed [Report This]
Date: 08/04/2009 9:25 AM Title: one

This is one of those stories that lingers with you... A bitter and terribly tragic take on Spock's reasons for going to Gol, but I was comforted by the same hope McCoy felt at the end, knowing that the two would meet again. Thank you for this.

Reviewer: loke_21 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/31/2009 5:48 PM Title: one

I have to say that this story is by far the best angst story I have ever read of these two. You have no idea how much kleenex I went through just know. I love it, I just have one question.....please please....tell me there's a continuation...are you going to continue this? You probably wanted to leave it that way, but man oh man....I'm just itching for a happy ending. You wanted to leave it to our own conclusions, but I so enjoy your writing style that my brain has turn to mush and I can't imagine a better ending.. :) lol oh I hope that was convincing enough for you to make a continuation...should I beg some more... I love this story and you can't leave me hanging like that.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for the kind review.  I've had others request a follow-up, too, but honestly don't know when I'd be able to get to it.  I have other stories to finish first and I'm not exactly the fastest writer in the world. 

It is an intriguing idea, though, so who knows?


Reviewer: Psyche Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 07/06/2009 3:58 PM Title: one

I can't believe you don't have more reviews that this. This is one of the top 5 best fanfics I've read, in any fandom. And I must have read a thousand by now.

I finished reading it a few days ago but had to wait with the review because I was too stunned, too shocked and in too much pain. This was really a painful ordeal, and I'm not talking about the rape itself, but the whole emotional aftermath, the unsolvable feel of it. I never believed they wouldn't be able to get through it, and when they didn't... Jesus, there's just something wrong with the universe if Kirk and Spock are not by each other's side =( I'm still hurting when I think of it, of Spock's attempt at suicide, and of Kirk's enormous loss. You are one hell of a writer, to be able to describe their terrible situation, and to be able to touch me so.

Is it meant to take place between the five year mission and The Motion Picture? I'm asking because Spock mentions what I can only assume is the ritual of Kohlinar on Gol, which is where Spock is at the beginning of TMP (and also if it is, it would give me some kind of relief in knowing they turned out to be alright).

Anyway, thanks for sharing this.

Reviewer: dristi Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 06/06/2009 8:15 PM Title: one


this story was ....i'm at a loss of words...definately intriguing, interesting and fascinating!

...but this can't be the end!? pls, pls, pls....this heart breaking "ending" can't be the ending....!!!

hope to read more soon...

keep up!

Reviewer: Irisheyes151 Signed [Report This]
Date: 05/24/2009 3:34 AM Title: one

That was fucked up. Just fucked up.

Reviewer: SlenderSail Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: 04/09/2009 8:21 PM Title: one

Best novel indeed - I would have added my vote, had I participated. Deeply dark, disturbing, distressing - maybe there is a sequel of their reunion? You demonstrate thorough understanding of the link/bond, and the concept of the "beast": may I ask how?

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