Getting to Know You: Spock by Greywolf the Wanderer
Summary:

Spock's responses, when Jim finally corners him with The Questionnaire and pesters him into filling it out.


Categories: Fiction Characters: None
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Character Study, Humor
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: ST:TOS Original Universe
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: Getting to Know You
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1301 Read: 8555 Published: 11/10/2009 Updated: 11/10/2009
Getting to Know You: Spock by Greywolf the Wanderer

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Date: Sun, 06 Feb 2000 12:50:10 -0800

From: Greywolf the Wanderer

Subject: Getting to know you - GW's Spock

 

 

Jim, this is illogical. (very quiet sigh) Very well. If you insist, t'hy'la, I will fill this out. But it is still illogical.

NAME. Spock, cha' Sarek, heir to the House of Surak.

SEX: Male -- Jim, why are you laughing?

HOME: Technically, ShiKahr Prefecture, on Vulcan. But I prefer the Enterprise.

HEIGHT: 1.93 meters. Barefoot. In my boots I am 1.98 meters tall.

EYES: Dark brown. No Jim, they are not black.

HAIR: Black. These questions are illogical. You already know these things.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW? Television -- interesting. I did not have time to watch television, on the occasions when I was in Earth's past, so I do not have a favourite.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I do not possess a computer with a mouse. It was a highly inefficient interface.

FAVOURITE MAGAZINE: Journal of the Interstellar Society for the Study of Temporal Physics. I have a paper in the current edition.

FAVOURITE SMELL: I am not certain I should answer that question. In fact, Jim, I believe I will decline. You are *smiling* too much.

WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: I am a Vulcan, I do not-- *Really*, Jim. Was that necessary? (another small sigh) Very well. As long as you agree that this is *private* -- it was declaring you dead, during the incident with the Tholians.

BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: T'hy'la, you *know* this-- very well. It was the day we bonded.

THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: Install and correct new programs. Compact my files. Maintain the computer system, which usually consists of removing various "improvements" others have foisted upon it. And yes, Jim -- you do not need to pout. Really, it is most unbecoming. I also spend time with you. (sighs again) Yes. In bed. Jim, you know these things!

FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK: I do not understand the question... Oh. I do not have a favourite. I am partial to the duets of Selek the Younger, for ka'athyra and flute. Is that what you mean?

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF WHEN YOU WOKE UP THIS MORNING? That we had better hurry if we were not to be late for that conference call with Admiral Morrow. And then we were late anyway, because a *certain human* cannot keep his hands to himself in the shower.

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? Of course not. I am Vulcan.

ROLLER COASTERS DEADLY OR EXCITING? Illogical.

PEN OR PENCIL? Stylus. Or computer.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? I do not possess a "phone."

FAVOURITE FOODS: K'lyr'cha mushrooms. Wild sseth'n berries. And chocolate. It is excessively rich -- but it is worth the digestive upset. (sounds of quiet disagreement) Jim, you are not a "food". (sigh) Very well. Yes. You.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? I communicate with them when the need arises. It does not arise often.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME? I have never been *convicted*, no. I am under sentence of death in the Rihannsu Empire, however.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate, definitely. Although vanilla is pleasant as well, especially if it is added to chocolate.

CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Neither, actually. I do not eat meat. And I do not enjoy stale bread.

DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? Not especially. But I am better at it than you, Jim. (sounds of a scuffle) No, I will not "take that back". It is true.

DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? I do not possess any "stuffed animals". I slept with Ee-Chiya when I was a young boy, but he was alive, not stuffed. Really. What barbaric customs you humans have.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY KIND OF PET, WHAT WOULD IT BE? A sehlat. But I do not need a pet, t'hy'la. I have you. (another scuffle) It is your fault, Jim. You are the one who insisted I answer these questions.

IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF ANIMAL WHAT WOULD YOU BE? I am a Vulcan. What else should I be? I do not understand the question.

IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE? Surak.

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: I prefer not to consume alcohol.

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? I do not understand the question. Oh. On Vulcan we do not have a zodiac, t'hy'la. However, I was born in the Year of the Le-Matya, according to the old ways. Is that what you mean?

EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Of course. Broccoli is a most nutritious food. Although I prefer k'lyr'cha mushrooms.

GIRLS-WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT? This question is not applicable. (another sigh) Yes, Jim, if a woman was in need of a shirt, I would lend her mine. But I do not see that being likely to happen. Nor do I understand the relevance of the question.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I already have the job I wish most in all the universe. I do not desire any other. I do not wish to command.

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Why should I do such a thing? I do not understand. Hair is hair; colour is irrelevant.

IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE? Other than my Clan Mark, I do not have any tattoos, nor do I wish for any.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? *Really*. Must I... (sigh) Yes. Once. As you well know, Jim.

DESCRIBE YOUR DREAM WEDDING. Weddings are a human custom. Bondings are for family and close friends only and they are *private*. Ours was quite satisfactory.

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? The weapons I earned when I passed the kahs-wan; my ka'athyra. The IDIC tapestry my mother made for me.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? I do not understand; I am not drinking anything at the moment.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SNAPPLE? What is a snapple? I see. You do not know either? Very well, we shall ignore this one.

ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? What-- oh. I am primarily right-handed, though most Vulcans are ambidextrous.

DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Naturally. How else would one type?

IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? I am a Vulcan. I do not wish to be anything else.

WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? The floor. These questions are becoming more and more illogical.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER? I do not have a favourite number. I find mathematics most interesting, but I do not understand why I should prefer one number to another.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? It was not precisely a car. It was a second-hand T'Leyhath flitter that my cousin Skell and I rebuilt one summer.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? I live aboard the Enterprise. I do not need another conveyance.

FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? Chess. But I prefer playing to watching.

SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU. I see. *Now* we get to the point, yes? Very well. He has a most aesthetically pleasing posterior. Well, you asked, Jim. If you did not wish to hear the answer, why did you ask the question?

OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND TO IT. I do not plan to send this to anyone. And you had better not either, my human. Or perhaps I shall have to "take steps" to insure our privacy.

 

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