Oranges by missfae

The boys are at it again.

Categories: Ficlets Characters: Chapel, Chekov, Chris Pike, Gaila, Original Character(s), Sarek, Scott, Sulu, Uhura
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Kirk/Spock Slash
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: Abrams Universe
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 901 Read: 4570 Published: 08/07/2012 Updated: 08/07/2012
Story Notes:

I haven't been around due to family obligations, but I'm back.

This was inspired by another fanfic writer I read about 7 years ago… so kudos to y’all and glad that we can inspire each other… keep writing….

Not as cracky as I usually write, but it was either this or the Kirk and Spock as Bert and Ernie that has been running through my head for the past few days.


1. Chapter 1 by missfae

Chapter 1 by missfae

Jim, Scotty and Chekov are the tricksters of the group. They are always getting together to plot how to keep the other crew members on their toes and to just generally wreak havoc. Today, the officers have been selected to represent Starfleet on an intergalactic talk show. As they sit together in Jim and Spock’s hotel room, they giggle over their latest bit of mischief.

“Okay,” says Jim, he always starts the trouble, “To make this work, we have to do it to everyone.”

“Everyone?” asks Chekov.

“Everyone!” replies Scotty as Jim nods his head enthusiastically.

“Even Pike, Sarek, and Selik?” Chekov nervously wondering if this might be a mistake.

“It has to be everyone if this is to drive them crazy.” Jim grins like a maniac.

“Except for us, we are the only ones who are immune. Remember that,” says Scotty.

“Alright. Let’s get this show on the road.” Jim is bouncing with enthusiasm and Scotty giggles again. Even Chekov thinks this might not be too bad after all.


The three of them are walking down the hall and the first person they meet is Cupcake.

He asks, “Hey guys how are you today?”

Chekov replies, “Everything’s great, that’s all I can say.”

“Have they selected the first people to interview on the show?”

Scotty sighs, “Whoever they are… they’ll be basking in the afterglow.”

“Afterglow…” Cupcake smiles, “I see… you’re just pulling my leg.”

Jim grins, “I’m willing if you really want me to, you don’t have to beg.”

“Alriiiiight…” says Cupcake giving him a nervous look. “Well gotta go and guard... something now.”

“Yeah” Scotty pipes in looking serious, “Don’t be late or Pike’ll have a cow.”

Cupcake walks away looking back over his shoulder at the three.

As soon as he is out of sight, the three dissolve into laughter.

“That was great,” Jim crows. “I can’t wait to see who is next.”

They didn’t have to wait long because Nyota, Chapel and Gaila come around the corner.

Gaila speaks to Jim,

“Hey, man where were you last night?”

Jim looks sad, “Saw a horror movie, it gave me such a fright.”

Chapel looks at Chekov; his face is red from trying to hold in his laugh. She asks, “Are you okay?’

Scotty answers, “He’s fine….did you know I used to be gay?”

Nyota stunned says, “What the fuck?”

Chekov grabs his stomach, “Uh…That kind of language makes me want to upchuck.”

Nyota rolls her eyes. “What’s wrong with you guys… are you drunk?”

Jim looks offended. “We’re fine… you’re the one in a funk!”

Chapel shakes her head. “You guys are strange and I’m outta here!”

Jim looks at his hands, “I need to do my nails… should I used colored or clear?”

Nyota makes a disgusted noise as the three girls walk away.

The three are cracking up when Pike approaches.

“Alright you three break it up?’

Scotty says a serious look on his face, “When fencing with Hikaru, it’s best to wear a cup.”

Pike doesn’t have time for this.

“Look, stop standing around and go rehearse!”

Jim snaps his fingers, “Oh man almost forgot…gotta take Bones shopping or he’ll start to curse.”

Pike looks at them, gives up and walks away shaking his head.

Barris walks up,

“Hey, you guys seen Komack?”

They shake their heads. Chekov says mournfully, “I’d rather endure a shark attack.”

Barris shoots them a double take, Okkaaayyyyy…”

Jim turns to Scotty his voice rife with curiosity, “Have you ever had a roll in the hay?”

Barris backs away his eyes on them and muttering something about Starfleet instituting random drug testing.

At that time Spock, McCoy and Selik walk up.

McCoy hugs Scotty and asks, “What are you trouble makers doing just standing around?”

Chekov replies, “Just reaching for the stars but keeping our feet on the ground.”

Spock raises his eyes as Selik asks,

“What do you think about your upcoming interview with Shane?”

Jim shrugs, “I like white bread but I prefer whole grain.”

McCoy looks at him like he’s lost his mind.

“Jim, did you get hit on the head?”

Scotty shakes his head sadly.

“As clumsy as he is… I’m surprised he’s not dead.”

McCoy glares at him.  “What is wrong with you guys do you think this is funny?”

The other man takes his hand concerned. “What’s the matter dear, everything goes better with a spoon full of honey.”

McCoy snatches his hand away. “You three think you’re funny but you are just so corny.”

Jim grins, “Last night Scotty was thinking of you… I think he was horny.”

McCoy opens his mouth and glaring shakes his head.

Spock and Selik has been watching the whole exchange. They watch Jim, Scotty and Chekov trying not to laugh. They see McCoy is about to blow a gasket, so with a nod to each other they come to a decision. Spock holds out his two fingers to Jim and asks in a mild voice,

“Ashayam… I require sustenance. If it is not too much to ask, can you procure me an orange?”

Chekov opens his mouth then closes it. Scotty opens his mouth to speak then stops and finally Jim grins so wide that it splits his face. He starts to laugh.

“T'hy'la, you tease…” He pulls his love tightly to his side and gives him a kiss, “…what the heck rhymes with orange?”

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