Don't interfere with the baby birds by TFALokiwriter

Cue interference.  Old Married McSpirk.

Categories: Fiction Characters: McCoy
Crossover Fandom: None
Genres: Polyamorous
Other Languages: None
Specific movie: None
Story Type: Humor
Trope (OPTIONAL): None
Universe: ST:TOS Original Universe
Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Word count: 12521 Read: 57292 Published: 06/10/2017 Updated: 06/10/2017
Removing the bird nest by TFALokiwriter

When approached with the idea of Star Fleet's greatest triumvirate's retirement, most wouldn't believe Jim Kirk to settle down planet side. He was the kind of man who would spend the rest of his days in space. Growing depressed being planet side. And the entire story about the one time he was left planet-side, brainwashed, was a fairly well known story where he did not enjoy it. Not the flowers, not the women, not the fresh air, and easy simple life style made him happy. He was missing his silver lady, the Enterprise, most figured. And he wouldn't enjoy being away from her. Sure, he had commanded the sister of his first command in deep space. But it wasn't the same. Nothing was the same.  The sense of loss lingered in the air around the Admiral when he walked the halls. Familiar, but a stranger. Someone who he hadn't emotional ties to as the original Enterprise. Someone who clutched the heart easily of a Starship captain. It clutched Scotty's heart but not the retired admiral.

The Enterprise A was decommissioned and taken apart for the history museum located in San Fransisco.

But the mention of the other members to the triumvirate leaving Star Fleet?

Spock joining the diplomatic corps?

Not a surprise at all. 

"So," Pavel said. "are you going to attend the Enterprise B'S christianing?"

Kirk was sat on a stool leaned forward tending to the plants when he stopped looking over toward the younger man.

"Why would I do that?" Kirk asked, puzzled.

"Because it's the Enterprise," Pavel said.

"She is not my girl," Kirk said. "It is  Captain Harriman's," he stood up toward the man placing both hands on the man's shoulders. "and you should attend the ceremony, Captain Chekov."

"I never kaptained her," Pavel said.  Kirk grew a kind expression toward the man.

"Pasha, Pasha," Kirk said. "She been there in your personal journey from day one. Time for you to see her sister go on her maiden voyage."

"You make a good point," Pavel said.

"You are going to command the USS Romanov," he gently let go of the man's shoulder.  He stepped aside then bended down toward the growing garden and yanked out a weed. He placed the weed into a bucket. He looked toward the Russian. "besides, I am too biased," he waved his gloved hand. "I wouldn't mean what I say about the . . ."  he held his hand side ways. "Excelsior Enterprise. That is Sulu's territory."

Pavel knelt down alongside the elder.

"It vouldn't be the same vithout you, Admiral," Pavel said.

Kirk paused, nostalgic, thinking back to his historic first contacts.

"Nor without our Enterprise," Kirk said, then he looked over as Pavel took out another weed.

"Vhy did you decide to settle on Delta IV?" Pavel asked.

"It has a location that is not common to find on Earth with free space, and the scenery is quite peaceful," Kirk said. "most inhabitants of this planet are Earth-like. It has similar bird species and insect species and plants."

"And your family home?" Pavel said.

"That house belongs to Peter," Kirk said.

"I am surprised," Pavel said, taking out another weed. "you alvays talked about it fondly."

"That was then and this is now," Kirk said, sounding bemused. "I wouldn't trade my current retirement home for Iowa."

Pavel raised an eyebrow. "You traded rolling hills for a lake?"

"Yes," Kirk said. "beautiful. Actually."

Pavel looked toward the lake.

"If you say so," Pavel said.

"Besides," Kirk  said. "I'm here for being closer to town and skating on ice."

Scotty was getting the blue and white cooler ready for the ride on the lake. Cold air was coming out of the cooler that had preserved square ice cubes inside. There were bottles of illegal Romulan Ale resting inside with their green tinge sweeping from side to side. He added ten bottles of Jack Daniels, two bottles of bourbon, and eggnog that he had personally made himself for a special occasion such as this. Kirk was inside the house washing his hands in the sink from the impromptu gardening that he had sent himself on. The house was already built when they came here but had some features added including replicators, automatic doors, and other necessities. The automatic doors opened before the Vulcan.

Up ahead he could see by the dock sat McCoy. The Vulcan made his way after the shorter human perched alongside a pontoon that had the tent up at the back with the rails at the front and several seats. It was blue and white with the custom paintjob of the star fleet insignia on both sides. There were translucent additions to both sides that could glow when it turned dark which normally would illuminate the water and give a cool aesthetic. Behind the structure was a engine. The fabric of the pontoon could absorb anything and excrete it as it trailed in the water in the form of waste. It almost resembled a type of car with the hood support beam up.

"T'hy'la, were you aware that our pontoon has a bird nest?" Spock asked.

 McCoy was untying the rope from around the wooden stake when he glanced up toward the Vulcan.

 "Hm, excuse me, what?" McCoy said. Spock walked onto the pontoon then unhooked a paddle from the side and held it sideways where there were huge, dark gray fluffy balls of fur resting inside. McCoy smelled the stench of  bird poop coming from the paddles. The doctor waved a hand  then pinched his nose. "Ew, Spock!"

 "This came with a bird nest," Spock said.

McCoy raised his eyebrows.

"I would have noticed," McCoy said.

"What planet did this bird nest come from?"  Spock asked.

"Delta IV," Spock resisted the urge to roll an eye which was becoming increasingly difficult by the passing day, "this planet," McCoy said. "I bought it to be authentic." Spock raised a slanted, dark eyebrow.

"For what, doctor?" Spock asked.

"Late 21st century," McCoy said. The Vulcan lowered his eyebrow. "sweetie, put the nest back."

"Illogical," Spock said. "I will remove it to a safe location."

The Vulcan turned around with the nest in tow earning a head shake from his bondmate.

"I get ya don't want to be dunked at by frantic parents but most bird parents are relaxed with moving nests!" McCoy called. "not as aggressive as they were in the 21st century," he paused, thinking back, to geese. "Not like Geese. Not changed a day parental wise."

Jim was coming down trailed by Hikaru as he watched the nest be moved.

"Bird problems?" Hikaru asked.

"Not any longer, Captain," Spock said.

"Pasha, dinnae drop the other end of the cooler!" Scotty said, eying at the circular stones that the Russian was looking like a disaster that could happen at any given moment. His worries could be forgiven as Pavel was a walking safety hazard that could happen at any moment. He was a excellent security officer but he made a terrible mover.

"I am trying, Scotty," Pavel said.

"Those flip flops of yer's are a pain in the ass," Scotty said.

"They're fabulous," Pavel argued back.

"Uh huh," Scotty said. "I know a man who fell down a flight of stairs because of them."

"Did he live?" Pavel asked, alarmed.

"He lost a leg but that's another story," Scotty said.

Scotty's eyes were drilled upon the  Russian's feet. Pavel was wearing bright pink flip flops. There was a light tan outline of the flip flops among the white portions of Pavel's skin. Suddenly Pavel fell and the cooler went flying, however illogically, and it struck Hikaru sending him falling to the floor covered in ice. Scotty bolted up then came over to the Asian's man side tagged along by Pavel. Scotty quickly put the bottles into the cooler. Pavel helped the man up, "Sorry, Hikary, I didn't mean to do that, are you okay?" The Asian man felt dizzy rubbing the back of his head.

"Ow,"  Hikaru said. "I am fine, honey, just a bruise," he glanced over toward Scotty who got aboard the pontoon.

Kirk came down the wooden board going to the pontoon joined by his husband.

"I'll decide if ya fine," McCoy took out a personalized medical tricorder. "we haven't checked if there are some unscrewed nails on the dock," the medical tricorder beeped to life glowing blue at its sides.

"I got Bourbon!" Scotty said, taking out a intact bottle.

McCoy frowned.

"Sure, you'll get a bruise but your back won't like it," McCoy noted. "I recommend you rest your back on the Excelsior."

"I will do that," Hikaru said.

"How is Janice, anyway?" McCoy asked.

"She is fine," Hikaru said, as the southern man put the medical tricorder away. Spock and Jim sat side by side sharing a Vulcan kiss. "In fact she adopted this Romulan-Klingon hybrid and you won't believe how she is planning to raise the child. Aboard a starship. I am sorry, but children on a spaceship? That's not acceptable. Families should be on starbases not on a starship."

"That might change one day when space is safe," McCoy said, as Hikaru sat down into the pontoon in a chair. The southern man finished unraveling the rope then dumped it into the pontoon. He leaped into the pontoon then came over to the chair that piloted the craft. "thin's change, Hikaru. And it's changin' fast with the Klingons."

 "I get that," Hikaru said. Scotty handed the bourbon to  "but isn't that. . . welll. . dangerous?"

 "It is not logical to have families out given with the conflict with the Klingon Empire," Spock agreed. "but in time, space, itself, it is entering a new era. And it will become part of ship specifications."

 "Vhat era is that?" Pavel asked.

"Diplomacy," Spock said. "change is a essential process of existence."

"Spock, tell them," Kirk nudged the Vulcan's shoulder.

"What?" Hikaru said.

"Are you adopting dogs?" Pavel asked.

"Gettin' another cat?" Scotty asked.

"Buttons is a fine cat, no thank ya," McCoy said.

"I have joined the diplomatic corps," Spock said. "We have decided against residing on Vulcan because one, a garden, two, it rains, and three, we get to experience twelve months unlike Vulcan where it is nine," Kirk's thoughts wondered over toward the birds. His eyes lingered on the nest near the shed. "And it's a special exception to us not to live on Vulcan." It had been a long time since he had seen baby birds.

"Ye took advantage of yer historical legacy," Scotty said, as the pontoon whirred away from the dock.

"I will not deny it," Spock said.

"Kongratulations!" Pavel said, as the Scottsman took out a  jug of eggnog and several cups.

"You are going to enjoy that occupation, Spock," Hikaru said.

"That, I will," Spock  agreed, gazing in the direction of his bondmate with one hand wrapped around the man's rounded waist. T'hy'la, do not interfere with the baby birds.

"I might not enjoy it as he does," Kirk said, looking toward his bondmate with a sheepish expression. "being away for so long. .  ." he then added, light heartedly, with a laugh. "I'll have to get used to it. Won't like it." Whhhy?

"Ooooh boy, I will like it," McCoy said. "Shame Ny and her wife are busy not to see this beautiful scene." Because the mother will not return to her children if the scent of a human is on them, Spock replied.

"You like everything when it comes to Spock enjoying his activities," Kirk said. Are you sure about that?

"Hmm, of course, I do," McCoy said. "because then he is not helpin' me with crossword puzzles. They're puzzles for a reason." I am very sure, Spock replied.

"It is only logical to help," Spock said, as Hikaru and the other two men grew looks of amusement drinking from their cups.

"Uh huh and so is spoilin' the endin' of Titantic," McCoy said. "THE Titantic. THE one by James Cameron. THE movie based off a real life incident."

"I seem to recall that you spoiled the ending for me when it came to Pompeii," Spock said.

"It was terrible," McCoy said, shaking his hand. "not as classic or emotional. Spared ya."

"Not really a good movie," Kirk said. "but for romance lovers, it tears at the strings, and it's just. . ."

"So good," Hikaru flicked off a tear.

"Like oh my god, can you imagine being stuck like that?" Kirk asked. "The only thing left to be remembered by? Kissing?"

"Yes," Spock said.

"It's not bad," Pavel said. "got its pros and con's but the movie should have been longer."

"Yes!" Kirk said.

"And then end vith them dead,"  Pavel said. "more emotional connection vith them and following them to this heart-vrenching bitter sweet journey would have been great," he took a sip. "now the newer version trumps the old movie because it's three hours and fifteen minutes long."

"Wait, when did they do that?" McCoy asked, flabbergasted.

"Three years ago," Pavel said.

"Bones, Bones, Bones, we got a historical movie to watch," Kirk said. "an accurate historical movie."

"There goes my plans for this evening," McCoy groaned.

"Basic message," Scotty said. "dinnae spoil the endin' to the doctor."

"Got that right," McCoy took a sip then lowered the glass. "now enjoy this earthly heaven," he gestured toward the beautiful, natural made scenery. "Look, there's moss, and it looks like land!" suddenly a black cat bolted out of the pontoon darting onto the moss earning a baffled look on Spock while a look of shock spread on the doctor's face.

"Buttons!" and Jim bolted after the cat.

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