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Spock looked up into the Jefferies Tube at Captain James T. Kirk.

“Captain,” he said, folding his arms across his uniformed chest and quirking one eyebrow.  “Do you require assistance?”

Hanging on to the ladder, Kirk looked down at his utterly adorable first officer, and sighed . “For fuck’s sake,” he muttered as he tried not to squirm under the Vulcan’s curious gaze, “of all the people, of all the times, of all the places…of all the outfits”.

Spock raised the other eyebrow as his Vulcan hearing picked out the words that would have been unintelligible to a Human.

Kirk shifted uncomfortably. The lacy black panties that had seemed like such a good idea when he put them on were riding up his ass, but he didn’t want to hoik them out while Spock looked on.

“You are up early,” Spock commented, and Kirk gawked at him in amazement. Yeah, that was sooo the first observation that would come into anyone’s mind.

“How did you know I was here?” he demanded.

Spock continued to look curiously at him and Kirk found the urge to squirm becoming nigh on impossible to ignore. “I was on my way to the science lab to check an experiment I have been running,” Spock replied. “This section is not scheduled for any maintenance,” he paused. “I heard you breathing.”

“Spock, look, I can explain…” Kirk continued. His voice tailed off as he failed to come up with any explanation Spock was likely to believe of why he should be crammed into a Jefferies Tube at dawn wearing an extremely uncomfortable - and exceedingly small - pair of panties.

“No need, Captain,” Spock said, still gazing impassively at him. “Your off duty attire is a matter entirely at your own discretion,” he paused, “as is the location in which you choose to wear that attire.”

Kirk groaned. He’d never met anyone in his life who could so thoroughly exasperate him in such a short space of time.

“Jesus, Spock, do you really think I’d choose to spend my spare time holed up in a fucking Jefferies Tube, wearing nothing but panties and trying to figure out how the hell I can get back to my quarters without any member of my crew getting an eyeful?”

Spock’s eyes widened slightly at the outburst. “An eyeful, Captain?” he queried, prompting Kirk to snort in disgust. “And I can assure you I would not presume to make any judgement on your choice of recreational activities.”

Kirk resisted the urge to groan for a second time and took a deep breath before opening his mouth to try again. “Spock,” he began, this time trying his best to infuse his voice with as much captainly authority as possible, given the circumstances.  “I do not habitually spend my time hanging around in maintenance tunnels wearing women’s underwear.”

Spock opened his mouth to speak and Kirk quickly held up a hand to stall him. “I know,” he said, rather too loudly, stopping and forcing himself to take another deep breath before continuing with exaggerated patience. “I understand, Mr. Spock, that  you do not consider it your place to make any judgements on  my location, my attire, or my recreational activities. However, I am the captain and I am telling you , I will  be explaining this to you.” 

He smiled sweetly, right before reaching down, grabbing the front of the blue tunic and hauling the Vulcan up as far as he could. Unfortunately, given their respective positions, this was to about level with his crotch, a fact that he decided it would be best to ignore.  “Right after you GET ME SOME CLOTHES!”

Spock blinked. Kirk found himself quite tempted to punch him - his most aggressive, threatening and, well, ‘shouty’ voice, and all it gets is a blink?

Spock looked up at him. If he was at all discomfited by being manhandled in an enclosed space by a superior officer in negligible undergarments, which at this point were perilously close to his nose, he showed no sign of it. “Certainly, Captain,” he said. “You only needed to ask.”


While he waited for Spock to return Kirk pondered the situation he now found himself in and decided he really needed to try harder to cultivate an image worthy of the captain of a Starship.

It was all very well, he thought, having a bit of fun, but there came a time when a guy might have to think about changing his ways - and maybe, just maybe, that time might be when he found himself hiding out on his own ship, hoping to hell his Vulcan first officer didn’t decide to leave him high and dry as some sort of lesson in what can happen should you behave in a slightly less than logical manner.

Actually, Kirk thought, cheering a little, surely the fact that he was hiding at all showed he’d already begun the process of change. After all, it wasn’t as if it was the first time he’d worn women’s underwear. Hell, he’d even been chucked out on his ass while wearing some particularly fetching lingerie once. Only then he’d simply strolled back to his dorm room, cheerily greeting his classmates for all the world as if he were in full uniform. He grinned as he remembered the rather bemused, but still admiring, looks his almost naked physique had garnered.

Spock chose that moment to stick his head back into the Jefferies Tube. “I am gratified to see your confinement is not proving too onerous, sir,” he commented as, stepping into the small space, he caught the wide smile.

“Oh shut up, Spock, and hand over the clothes,” Jim retorted as he shifted his back to the ladder and reached his hand down. He didn’t bother trying to coax his face into a more solemn expression, his delight merely increased by the sight of his, really very handsome, saviour. Spock’s eyes narrowed slightly as he held on tightly to the uniform tunic, pants and boots he was carrying. “I believe Human custom would suggest the words ‘thank you’ as a more appropriate response to my return than ‘shut up Spock’,” he said.

Kirk grinned at him. “Oh come on, can’t you take a joke?” Spock simply raised an eyebrow -  and made no move to hand over the bundle of clothing. “Guess not,” the captain sighed, as he rolled his eyes. “Ok, you win. Thank you, Spock. I will be eternally grateful…forever and ever. Now, hand over the clothes!”

The first officer still made no move. “Spock, c’mon,” he wheedled, trying a different approach. “Please…” he leaned forwards, eyeing the precious bundle in Spock’s arms. He watched in disbelief as the Vulcan bent down and placed the clothes on the floor by the side of the entrance to the tube, where they would be just out of sight of any passing crew members. He straightened and looked back up at Kirk. “I believe the phrase is ‘what is it worth?’.”

Kirk let out a bark of surprised laughter. “What is it…um…you um… what?” He stared at Spock, who simply stood there, his arms folded across his chest. The Vulcan tilted his head to one side and a slight quirk appeared at the corner of his oh-so-kissable mouth as his eyes raked over Kirk’s body before coming back up to meet their blue counterparts, now wide with shock.

“I believe you heard me,” he said. Kirk knew he was gaping, but all rational thought seemed to have gone on shore leave. Spock was propositioning him…wasn’t he? His eyes narrowed suspiciously. This could be some sort of weird Vulcan joke. ‘Well,’ he thought, ‘two can play at that game, mister’.

He returned Spock’s speculative look and gave him his best seductive grin, the one that never, ever - well hardly ever - failed. “Hmm,” he said, thoughtfully, “it has been said I give the best blow job this side of Alpha Centuri…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, half expecting the Vulcan to pick up the clothes and run, leaving him right back where he started.

He nearly fell off the ladder in shock when, instead, Spock reached up and started climbing towards him. He felt the Vulcan’s hot body slide up his own until they were nose to nose, Spock pressed tightly against him, feet either side of his own on the rungs. “Indeed,” came the reply as he eased his upper body backwards slightly, strong arms easily holding him in place. “However, in such restrictive surroundings oral stimulation might not be the most efficient manner in which to grant sexual favours.”

Despite the fact his brain was still trying to process what was actually happening here, Kirk had to roll his eyes. “Jeez, Spock, if that’s supposed to be dirty talk, I think you could do with working on it a bit.”

Spock just looked calmly at him. Ok, this was getting…interesting. Did he really mean to go through with it? Kirk gulped at the feel of the hot, hard body, the lower half of which was still pressed tightly against him.

“Spock,” he said, clearing his throat when the word came out just that bit higher than made him feel manly, especially considering his current garb, “do you have some sort of kinky fetish about captains in women’s underwear, or something?”

Spock appeared to think for a moment. “No, sir,” he finally answered. “I have no particularly strong  inclinations towards captains in any general sense,” he paused, “or towards women’s undergarments in any sense at all.”

Kirk swallowed. Oh. “So, you, uh, I mean…do you mean?” Spock efficiently provided the answer to the question Kirk hadn’t quite managed to ask by grabbing his captain’s hand and placing it firmly against his crotch.

Kirk could feel the inhuman heat even through the uniform pants. “Oh, fuck,” was all he found he could say. “If you wish,” Spock replied and he felt heat rush through him. He held the Vulcan’s gaze as he manoeuvred his hand to open his pants and reached inside to grasp the hard flesh. Spock gasped….and Kirk nearly came just at the sight of this minor loss of control.

He impatiently pushed the pants and briefs down out of the way then moved to free his own cock from its own now painfully restricting confinement.

Spock thrust up against him and Kirk secured their two shafts together, frantically stroking them both higher and higher towards completion as Spock held them in place on the ladder.

He came with a shuddering gasp and felt Spock’s hot seed pulsing out onto his belly just moments later. As he closed his eyes and groaned deep in his throat he felt the lightest touch of lips upon his own.

Spock held him tightly for a moment before straightening himself out and dropping gracefully to the floor below. Wordlessly he picked up the discarded uniform and moved to hand it over.

Kirk, still shaking with the force of his orgasm, tried to pull himself back to some semblance of cocky normality. “So that was worth it, eh?” he said. His grin, he knew, was rather more soppy than intended, but what the hell -  at least he’d managed to speak.

Spock, who somehow managed to appear as neat and calm as if they’d simply been discussing maintenance rotas, inclined his head. “I believe it was an experience that merits the reward promised,” he said solemnly.

Kirk, starting to recover, stuck his tongue out at him. “Oh shut up, Spock,” he said once again, grabbing the proffered clothing. “You can go off people, you know.”

He looked down at himself. If he’d been in an unsuitable state for a Starship captain before, it was undoubtedly worse now. He started rifling through the bundle of clothing. His heart sank. “Uh, Spock, there isn’t any underwear here.”

“No, Captain,” the Vulcan said agreeably.

Kirk waited a few moments, but Spock simply stood there looking innocently at him.  He sighed. “Why?” he asked finally, fairly certain he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“As you are already in possession of undergarments, sir, I deemed it unnecessary to bring other such items.”

Nope, definitely didn’t like the answer.

“Fine,” he said. “No problem. Commando it is.” Just then the Red Alert sounded. Kirk took a quick look down and, in a split second, considered the alternatives of leaving the panties here, DNA and all, or carrying it onto the bridge, before pulling the pants on over the tiny bit of, now very sticky, lace that was passing as underwear. By the time he was pulling the gold tunic over his head they were already sprinting down the corridor and into the turbolift.

“I’ll get you for this,” Kirk hissed, giving into the need to hoik the offending undergarment out of the crack of his ass just before the doors opened. Spock glanced over at him and Kirk could’ve sworn that, just for a nano-second, he caught a glimpse of  the tip of a tongue pointing out between his lips before they strode out onto the bridge - the very picture of a model command team.


That evening they lay side by side on Spock’s bed . “Jim,” the Vulcan began. Kirk shifted, half asleep. “Umm?” he said, his voice bleary with ‘too much sex’ tiredness. “Why were you hiding in a Jefferies Tube wearing women’s underwear?” Kirk opened his eyes and smiled up at the ceiling. “Well, since there wasn’t any maintenance scheduled for that section and since you would be on the way to the lab and no-one else would’ve heard me, I figured…”

Spock sat abruptly upright and looked down at him disbelievingly. “You…figured?”

Kirk shrugged and fixed his pretty blue eyes on the beautiful brown ones. “Well, I had to get you to notice me somehow…”


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