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“I fail to see what is so amusing.” Spock of Vulcan glared over the chess board at the Human who was doubled over with laughter on the opposite side of the table. He would deny it was a glare if challenged but, nevertheless, a glare it was. This particular Human made it nigh on impossible not to display a hint of emotion, or even a whole array of emotions. All at the same time. He made Spock want to smile, he made Spock want to groan. He made Spock want to kiss him, or strangle him. Most often, he made him want to glare. A lot. He was infuriating. Beyond infuriating.

“You, you…” Kirk stuttered the beginnings of a sentence before lapsing back into gales of laughter.

Spock glared some more.

Kirk waved his hand helplessly in the Vulcan’s direction, indicating, Spock believed, his inability to get out any more words at this precise time. Infuriating.

The first officer of the Enterprise folded his arms and stared at the captain, raising one eyebrow in what he hoped was an expression of cool disapproval. Unfortunately the gesture did not seem to calm the Human to any degree. If anything, it prompted a renewed burst of hysteria. Kirk brushed his uniform sleeve across his eyes to wipe away the tears.

“Jim,” Spock tried again. “I do not understand why you find this particular pastime worthy of such an unseemly reaction.”

“Oh, God, Spock,” Kirk groaned, clutching at his stomach. “Stop it, please. You’re killing me here.”

“I merely answered your personal query,” Spock stated. “Now, however, I regret doing so.” He stood and turned as if to leave the captain’s quarters.

Kirk reached out and grabbed his arm. “No, don’t go,” he said, gulping in deep breaths of air in an effort to regain his composure. “I’m sorry. We’ll just get on with our game,” he added, waving his arm in the general direction of the chess board on the table, “with no more personal queries, and no mention of any sort of childhood hobby. I promise.”

Spock regarded him suspiciously. Kirk smiled up at him with pleading blue eyes and, against his better judgement, Spock sat back down again. He reached out to make his move, concentrating on the board in front of him.


At the snorting sound from across the table, Spock’s hand stilled over the pawn he’d been about to move. “You are laughing again,” he accused, without looking up.

“I’m not!” Kirk spluttered. “I mean…I, I can’t help it. Train spotting? Really?!”

“I did not say it was train spotting. I was merely offering you a terran frame of reference.”

“But you had a notePADD and you recorded the licence numbers and, and… everything?”

Spock was glaring again. He could not seem to stop doing so. “I was seven standard Earth years old,” he stated. “It was a personal science project concerned with forms of locomotion…. and you promised you would refrain from further comment on this subject.”

“Oh fuck, Spock,” Kirk was consumed in uncontrollable laughter again. “You’re just such a…such a…dork!”

Spock got up from his seat and walked slowly around the table to stand next to the most annoying Human he’d ever met in his life. He looked down at him and raised an eyebrow. “Pardon me?” he said.

Kirk was now howling with laughter, the tears running down his face. “You,” he said breathlessly, swivelling around in his seat and pointing up at the Vulcan, barely able to get the words out. “Dork!”

Spock reached down and grabbed his arm, hauling him to his feet. He regarded the squirming Human closely and raised a challenging eyebrow. “Say that again,” he said.

Kirk looked back at him, still convulsed with mirth. “Dork!” he got out.

Spock kissed him.

If nothing else, it would at least serve to shut him up. He propelled the shaking body backwards towards the bed. “You,” he said, as he pushed him down onto the bunk, “are impossible.” He laid his body on top of his lover’s and slid his hands up under the gold command shirt. “And,” he added, raising both eyebrows this time, “positively adorkable.”

Kirk dissolved in a renewed fit of laughter. Spock sighed, and kissed him. Infuriating. This Human was absolutely infuriating.













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