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“Why do you keep those things so handy?” still-reeling-from-being-promoted Captain James Tiberius Kirk asked his best friend and doctor Leonard McCoy, eyeing the arrangement of hyposprays on the desk.

                “Just in case you get on my nerves,” McCoy answered around his sip of brandy. “It’s the only way I know how to shut you up.”

                “Ha ha. So funny,” Jim rolled his eyes and downed the last of his whiskey. “Where do you get all of this booze, anyways. I’ll keep pretending it’s not against regulations if you tell me.”

                “You’ll keep pretending alright,” McCoy said with an eyebrow raised. “Or somehow the whole ship’s gonna find out that their captain sleeps with a teddy bear.”

                “Bones!” Jim’s mouth fell open in shock. “You promised! Cadet’s honour and all that!”

                “I’m a doctor, Jim,” McCoy said slyly. “Not a cadet.”

                “You are pure evil, you know that?” Jim glared at his CMO.

                “S’not my fault you’ve got abandonment issues and need to hold on to something when you sleep,” McCoy said airily, pouring himself another drink.

                “I think I’m gonna go now,” Jim stood up stiffly.

                “Shit, sorry, Jim, I didn’t think before I said that,” McCoy apologized.

                “It’s okay Bones, I’m too sensitive,” Jim shook his head. “I wouldn’t be a very good captain if I stated holding grudges against everyone who insulted me, I don’t think I’d like anyone.”

                “You like Spock,” McCoy said, eyebrow raised in an uncanny imitation of the Vulcan.

                “He’s my friend, like you are,” Jim shrugged, evading the doctor’s insinuation nervously, and still somewhat shocked by the fact that the Vulcan no longer hated him. “Besides, he insults me even more than you do, I’d hate him way before you.”

                “Come on, Jim, admit it. You can never stay mad at Spock... Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you angry at Spock,” McCoy pretended to look offended. “I think I’ve been replaced.”

                Jim rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say Bones.”

            “Really Jim, you can’t hide it from me,” McCoy watched his friend closely. “You’re in love with Spock.”

            Jim sighed. “Yeah, so?”

            “What are you, four?” McCoy griped at his immature attitude. “Are you going to tell him?”

            “What, and have him maroon me another goddamn snowball?” Jim almost shouted. “He’s only just stopped hating me,” he added in a more reasonable tone.

            “You’ll never know unless you just ask him,” McCoy offered quietly.

            “Yeah, whatever, Bones. I’ll see you around,” Jim stepped morosely into the hall.

               

~

 

                “Captain, are you alright?” Spock’s voice asked Jim as he made his way briskly down the hall to his cabin.

                “Huh? Oh, hi Spock,” Jim turned around, almost falling over in his haste to see who was speaking to him. “Yeah, I’m fine... why do you ask?”

                “You did not seem to hear me and you seemed more than a little distracted,” Spock explained, falling into step half a pace behind his captain. “I can only assume that you have left Doctor McCoy’s company and that he has done something to upset you.”

                Jim stopped walking again and turned to face Spock. Had he really heard a protective undertone in that statement? Jim shrugged. “For once I wasn’t the one with my foot in my mouth.”

            “Hey Captain!” Newly-instated (thanks to Ambassador Spock) Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott boomed jovially down the hallway. “I hear yeh and the good Doctor ‘ave had yerselves another lovers’ spat. He’s gone an’ worked ‘imself up over it. Yeh might wanna give ‘im a call, eh? Make up with yer sweetie so we can all stop seein’ ‘im so worried!”

            “Yeah, I will Scotty,” Jim said distractedly, keying the entry code to his door. The Scotsman waved happily and made his way down the hall. “You wanna play a game of chess Spock?”

            “I shall have to decline this evening, Captain,” Spock said stiffly, before turning towards his own quarters and walking briskly away, leaving a confused and somewhat hurt Jim in his wake.

 

~

 

            Spock had many complicated thoughts circling in his head. James Kirk was able to elicit emotional responses in him, and Spock was unsure how that was. As their relationship progressed into friendship, Spock found himself grateful for this. It was nice to be able to feel with someone.

            Spock had begun to examine this friendship with his captain, and was surprised when he found more than simple affection there. He already knew about his attraction to his captain, it was one of the reasons he had terminated the romantic relationship with Uhura. But he had never looked any deeper. As he searched through his repressed feelings, he was shocked by how profoundly attached he had become to the man.

            Spock had always assumed that Jim was heterosexual. He had never known him to lust after men, but had seen him with woman after woman, on and off the ship. But when the Scotsman had implied that Jim and Doctor McCoy were in a romantic relationship, Spock’s views on the matter had changed.

            Of course, this meant that the Captain was still off-limits and that Spock was no closer to having Jim for his own, even after this sudden revelation of his feelings. Spock allowed himself a small sigh before settling down to meditate.

 

~

 

            Jim was towelling off his hair when he remembered that Spock had said something he hadn’t heard. Maybe it had been important.

            Jim wandered back to their shared bathroom, wearing nothing but his pyjama pants and knocked on the door leading to Spock’s room.

            “Come in,” Spock invited from inside.

            “Hey Spock,” Jim walked in, unsurprised to find the Vulcan seated on his meditation mat. “I can come back later if you want…”

            “That will not be necessary, I have finished,” Spock stood in one fluid motion. “Is there something I can do for you?”

            “Yeah, what is it you were saying before I noticed you were talking to me?” Jim sat on the chair at Spock’s desk.

            “I was simply wondering if you were aware of the orders from Starfleet,” Spock said quietly.

            “You mean about picking up that animal… I think it was called a Cannubis, from Starbase 16 and bringing it to the science people on Starbase 3?” Jim sighed. “Is there a problem with them?”

            “No,” Spock said. “I was only curious to know your thoughts on how best handle the animal once it is on the ship. From the reports, I have surmised that it is highly skilled at escaping confinement.”

            “I’m sure security will have their hands full, but they’ll do a good job,” Jim always had the utmost faith in his crew.

            “Indeed.” Spock walked over slowly. “Is the invitation for a game of chess still open, Captain?”

            “Of course Spock,” Jim grinned.

 

~

 

            “Captain, Mr. Scott seems to be under the impression that you are in a romantic relationship with Doctor McCoy,” Spock said quietly as they set up the chess board in Jim’s quarters.

            Jim looked up at Spock’s serious face and burst into laughter.

            “I fail to see the humour, Captain,” Spock said impassively.

            “You take everything so literally,” Jim said between hearty chuckles. “Scotty was just teasing. Sometimes people call it a ‘lovers’ spat’ when two good friends argue.”

            “So you are not in a relationship with the doctor?” Spock asked.

            “We’d last all of ten minutes,” Jim grinned. “Come on, you’ve seen how much we argue.”

            “Indeed,” Spock agreed, secretly happy, but also confused that Jim had not used sexual orientation as an explanation. “I did not understand why Mr. Scott would come to that conclusion, but he seems an intelligent man, I thought it best to not discredit his thoughts.”

            “You didn’t understand why?” Jim asked quietly.

            “Well, you do spend a large amount of time with the doctor,” Spock allowed. “But you also spend just as much time with me, if not more.” It took a herculanean effort to suppress the satisfied smile.

             “Well, yeah, there’s that,” Jim smiled nervously. “I mean, my personal life isn’t exactly private, so it’s easy for rumours to start. People think they know everything, but they don’t always.”

            “Jim, you are being deliberately vague,” Spock teased quietly.

            “Yep,” Jim laughed easily. “You know I like to keep everyone guessing.”

            “Jim, you never cease to stun me with your lack of logic.”

            “I don’t think it could ever be any other way, Spock.”

 

~

 

            “Captain, Mr. Spock, can I have a word?” Scott asked the next day, stepping onto the bridge.

            “Sure Scotty,” Jim stood up and walked over to meet him. He felt Spock move to stand behind him as he usually did.

            “Ye remember that animal we brough’ ontae the ship?”

            “Yes,” Jim said. “Is something wrong?”

            “Well, yeh,” Scott said uncomfortably. “I jus’ got word that it’s escaped. I saw one of the security people runnin’ after it.”

            “Damn,” Jim sighed. “I guess we’d better go look for it, right Spock?”

            “That seems logical, Captain,” Spock offered.

            “Let’s go. Sulu, she’s all yours.”

 

~

 

            Jim sighed wearily as he entered his quarters. Six hours searching and there had been no sign of the stupid beast. He was more than ready for a good night’s sleep.

            He was ten steps into his cabin, when he noticed that he was not alone in it. With a terrified pang, he noticed that the escaped Cannubis, named for its uncanny resemblance to the pointed-eared dogs of earth, was standing in the middle of his cabin, with Jim’s teddy bear in his mouth.

            “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jim launched himself at the animal, thinking only of rescuing his beloved bed companion.

            Jim managed to wrangle the bear out of the creature’s snarling mouth, but his heart almost stopped at the sound of tearing fabric. A firm bite at his side stole his attention away however, and the ripped teddy lay abandoned on the floor as Jim resumed his wrestling match with the Cannubis.

            “Captain!” Spock’s voice said, entering from the shared bathroom.

            Jim heard him run to him and felt the weight of the dog-like creature being lifted off of him.

            “Spock?” Jim looked up, surprised to find that he had nerve-pinched the animal, which lay serenely on the floor.

            “Have you been injured?” Spock knelt next to him and examined the rip in the tunic near his hip. “We must return the animal to its designated cell in the brig and get you to sickbay.”

            “I’ll be fine Spock,” Jim said morosely, trying very hard not to think of the bear lying a few feet away.

            “I must insist,” Spock’s strong arms wrapped around him and stood him on his feet.

            Jim tried very hard not to swoon, but the combination of shock and the sudden retreat of Spock’s warmth set him off balance.

            “I retract my earlier statement,” Spock placed a steadying arm around Jim. “I shall call security to retrieve the animal and I will escort you to sickbay.”

            And Jim, too shocked to form words and reluctant to have Spock let him go, simply allowed himself to be led out of his cabin.

 

~

 

            “He’ll be fine,” McCoy told Spock as they waited for Jim to put on his fresh shirt.

            “There has been no adverse reaction in relation to the bite?” Spock asked, regarding his still dazed-looking captain with concern.

            “None that I can find,” McCoy shrugged. “He’ll be fine, he just needs some sleep.”          

            Spock heard something that sounded suspiciously like a whimper escape his captain’s mouth at the mention of sleep.

            “You are certain?” Spock pressed.

            “Barely broke the skin.Yyou can go if you want,” McCoy shrugged again. “I’ll talk to Jim, maybe force a sedative or two on him.”

            “I would ask you not to force anything on the captain,” Spock said, eyes narrowed. “The ship suffers when the captain’s mood suffers.”

            “Of course, Spock,” McCoy said innocently. “I’ll see you around.”

            Spock looked at Jim one last time, as if looking for permission to stay. When he received none from the wide-eyed man, he turned swiftly and stalked out of the room.

            “Why does pissing him off please me so?” McCoy turned back to his friend, who simply looked back at him, expressionless. “What happened Jim?”

            “Tiber,” Jim whispered, horrified.

            “That stupid bear?” McCoy recognized the name Jim had given the bear as a child. “What about it?”

            “It ate him,” Jim sounded both horrified and offended and altogether very lost.

            “Oh Jim,” McCoy sighed, putting an arm around his pitiful-looking friend. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. We’ll find you a new, er, friend.”

            “It won’t be the same,” Jim almost whined, sounding for all the world like a spoiled five-year-old.

            McCoy sighed. “I’m going to give you a sedative so you can sleep, and we can figure this out tomorrow.”

            “No sedatives, I’ll be okay,” Jim stood up morosely. “It was kind of a stupid attachment anyways.”

            “Jim, if you were that attached to it...” McCoy psychology training began to kick in.

            “I’ll be okay, I’m the captain, remember? The big strong captain of the Enterprise,” Jim smiled weakly.

            “If you’re sure...” McCoy trailed off uncertainly, sincerely worried about his friend.

            “Yeah, it’ll be okay.”

 

~

 

            As soon as Jim was alone in his cabin and he saw the ripped pieces of his beloved Tiber, Jim knew that it probably would not be okay.

            Slowly, he walked over to the remains of his sleeping companion and sat cross-legged on the floor, staring at it. With surprise and a hint of embarrassment, Jim felt the moisture build up in his eyes. This was stupid, Starship captains did not cry, and they definitely didn’t need a teddy bear to sleep. With a small sob, Jim had to admit to himself, that maybe he did.

 

~

 

            Spock had finished meditating and was preparing for sleep when he heard an unfamiliar and unexpected sound emanating from the captain’s room next door. Confused, Spock made his way through their shared bathroom and opened the door.

            “Captain are you -” Spock broke off, noticing his crumpled captain sitting on the floor, sobbing over a pile of ripped fabric and stuffing. “Jim?” he walked quickly over to his distressed captain, kneeling next to him. “What has happened?”

            Jim looked up, embarrassed. “It’s nothing, Spock. You can go to sleep.”

            “I think not captain,” Spock said, sitting next to Jim. “It is my duty as your first officer to ensure your safety and well-being. You are most definitely not well at this moment.”

            “It’s stupid,” Jim sighed.

            “I surmise that this stuffed animal means a lot to you,” Spock regarded the teddy bear’s remains with curiosity.

            “My parents bought it for me before... I was born,” Jim finished lamely. “I’ve never been able to sleep without him,” he added with a sigh.

            Spock stood, and for the second time that evening, bent to wrap his arms around his captain. This time however, he did not place him on his feet, but rather gathered him into his arms and carried him towards his bed.

            “Spock?” Jim asked when he was deposited onto his bed.

            “When I was very young, my father obtained a Sehlat for me which I called I-Chaya,” Spock explained quietly. “In my early years, my father spent a large amount of time off-planet on diplomatic missions and my mother allowed me much more emotional freedom,” Spock choked a little at the mention of his mother. “I became quite attached to I-Chaya and had grown accustomed to sleeping with him most nights. One night however, he did not return home and I experienced great difficulty achieving sleep that night. My mother remained beside me until I was finally able to fall asleep.”

            “I never pictured you getting attached to anything,” Jim smiled weakly.

            “I am more than capable of intense attachment,” Spock answered quietly, looking down, a little embarrassed, but mostly interested in keeping the dull fire that burned in his eyes whenever he was with Jim from being noticed.

            “Did I-Chaya come back?”

            “Affirmative,” Spock looked up and Jim was surprised to see his eyes sparkling. “He was there to greet me the next morning. My mother had found him prowling outside our home.”

            “That’s good,” Jim yawned.

            “You require sleep,” Spock said. “I shall offer my presence as a temporary replacement.”

            Jim looked up at Spock and moved sideways on the bed, making enough room for the other man. “You need sleep too,” he said pointedly.

            Spock could barely contain his smile as he sank down on the small mattress. It slipped through his control when Jim sighed sleepily and snuggled closer, slinging an arm around his torso.

            “Thanks Spock,” Jim mumbled blearily. “Really helps.”

            Jim, revelling in the comforting warmth of his friend and the steady heartbeat slightly below his ear, quickly fell asleep. Spock, trying very hard to deny that this was the best night of his life, followed soon after.

 

~

 

            Vulcans require much less sleep than humans, and as a result, Spock awoke much earlier than Jim. He carefully extricated himself from Jim’s sleepy grip and stood, looking down at his sleeping captain.

In rest, Jim’s face was the picture of innocence and he looked much younger than he did in the day. Without realizing it, Spock placed a tender hand on Jim’s forehead and brushed his fingers through the golden hair, revelling in the softness. Remembering that this was inappropriate behaviour, he withdrew his hand and went about what he had planned to do.

 

~

 

            When Jim awoke, he was alone. He found this out when he reached instinctively beside him and found the bed empty. He sat up quickly and looked around.

            Spock was nowhere to be found. Jim sighed and rolled over to get out of bed. As he sat up, his hand hit something soft on his pillow. Looking down, he realized what it was with a gasp.

            Tiber sat on his pillow, frayed from his ordeal the day before and from cleaning, but stitched together and otherwise in one piece. Grinning from ear to ear, Jim picked up the bear and looked it over. As he examined the orderly handiwork, Jim knew it could only be Spock who had done this for him.

            Grinning like a madman, Jim left the bear on his pillow and ran to their shared bathroom and dashed through it. Without knocking, he burst into Spock’s room and almost ran straight into the Vulcan, who was walking towards the door he had just come in through.

            “Jim?” Spock’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

            “Spock,” Jim took Spock’s hand, eliciting a small gasp from the usually unmoveable Vulcan. “Thank you so much. You have done more for me in one night than anyone has done my whole life.” Spurred on by a newfound bravery, he stood on tiptoes and pressed a light kiss to Spock’s lips. “I love you.”

            Spock’s face flushed green and his body stiffened involuntarily in his shock. He could not control his mouth enough to form a response, so it simply gaped uselessly.

            Jim stepped back and regarded him cautiously. “I’m sorry Spock, I-” he broke off uncomfortably and turned back towards the bathroom, embarrassed. Strong hands wrapped around his arms and pulled him back. Before Jim’s surprised gasp could escape his lips, Spock was crushing them with gentle ferocity with his own.

            “I told you that I am capable of intense attachment,” Spock told him as he pulled away slightly to allow Jim to breathe. “Lately, the focus of this attachment has been you.”

            “Spock, are you saying…?” Jim stared into the normally-serene eyes, confused by the sudden turmoil he found there.

            “You are cherished, Jim,” Spock breathed. He gulped in a deep breath before finishing, “I love you.”

            Jim could only smile.

 

~

 

            Jim was both happy and thoroughly irritated. After his confession to Spock and Spock’s reciprocating answer, they both had ten minutes to report for their shifts on the bridge. Jim had reluctantly left Spock’s quarters with nothing more than a quick farewell kiss, even though he knew the Vulcan wanted the same thing he did.

            He allowed himself a sideways glance at Spock, who he was surprised to find looking in his direction. It seemed that he wasn’t the only one frustrated by the lack of time for sexual release before their shift; the soft fire burning behind the dark irises confirmed that fact.

            The night before, Spock had opened up to Jim in a way that he had never known was possible. He had seemed so sweet, so tender and so loving. It had given Jim the confidence he needed to finally confess what he had been feeling for his first officer.

            Another look in Spock’s direction was enough to send a rallying call to his groin. With a quiet sigh, Jim looked away from his handsome First and stared resolutely in front of him. He settled in for what was sure to be a long shift.

 

~

 

            Jim was not sure how McCoy had tricked him into returning to sickbay, but he sat impatiently as the doctor rattled off question after question.

            “Now you’re sure you slept all right?” McCoy asked for the fifth time.

            It was the best damn night of my life, Jim thought to himself. “Yes,” he said in an exasperated voice.

            “Really?” McCoy’s eyebrow raised in a way that was oddly reminiscent of Spock’s.

            “Yeah, Spock fixed Tiber,” Jim replied, leaving out the Vulcan’s unique solution to Jim’s problem sleeping.

            “I thought it was, like, gone,” McCoy said uncertainly.

            “I thought so too,” Jim sighed. “But apparently nothing’s impossible for a determined Vulcan.”

            “Well, things are looking up for you anyways,” McCoy winked. “Maybe you should think about telling Spock.”

            Way ahead of you Bones. Jim just smiled.

 

~

 

            “I have been awaiting your return,” Spock said, sitting in Jim’s desk chair when he walked into his quarters.

            “I’ve been looking forward to coming back to you,” Jim crossed the room quickly to step into the Vulcan’s outstretched and waiting arms.

            “I am pleased to hear this,” Spock pulled Jim into his lap. “I have missed your touch,” he ran a hand up under Jim’s tunic, exploring the expanse of silky skin.

            “Mmm,” Jim leaned forward to kiss his new lover enthusiastically. “You’re much better than a teddy bear,” he said, nuzzling the Vulcan’s warm neck.

            “I assume that you intend to use me as such tonight as well,” Spock gently tugged the yellow tunic over Jim’s head and discarded it neatly on the desk beside them.

            “I trust you have no objections, Mr. Spock?” Jim teased as warm hands glided over his chest. “I mean, I know I’m probably not as cuddly as a nice Sehlat, but I’ll try.”

            Spock raised an eyebrow and his lips descended upon his chest to trail the nimble hands in their exploration of the golden flesh.

            “I’ll take that to mean ‘no objections, Captain’,” Jim managed to gasp in the sensual onslaught of Spock’s hands and lips.

            “I do have one objection, Captain,” Spock said against a hard nipple.

            “What’s that Mr. Spock?” Jim groaned at the stimulation his poor tortured nipple was receiving.

            “We are not yet in the bed,” Spock said, standing with Jim in his arms and effectively remedying that situation.

            “Well you fixed that problem, didn’t you?” Jim laughed when he was deposited lovingly on his bunk. “I’m sure you’re more than capable of remedying the clothing situation as well, Mr. Spock.”

            “As you command, Captain,” Spock pulled off his own uniform tunic and quickly divested himself and his captain of pants, boots and socks.

            “Efficient, as always,” Jim grinned before his mouth was captured in another greedy kiss. He arched his body upward, grinding his eager cock against Spock’s own eager green tower.

            Spock’s lips focused their attention on Jim’s neck, bruising a path from his jaw to his collarbone. The Vulcan bit possessively on each bruise, clearly marking his newly-acquired territory. Spock sensed his partner’s nearing climax and increased his pace to match Jim’s now frantic bucks, eager to achieve release with his new lover.

            With a cry, Jim came, spurting his seed onto his and Spock’s stomachs. The sound of his voice and the feel of his spray were enough to send Spock over the edge and he came, spraying his own, rather thicker seed onto his lover.

            With a satisfied smirk, Spock slid down his lover’s body, cleaning his golden skin with his tongue, revelling in their mixed flavours.

            “That is so much sexier than a shower,” Jim said when he finally regained his breath, eyelids closing as his sated body told him it was time for sleep.

            “I shall endeavour to be as thorough as the shower,” Spock licked the finally drops of semen from Jim’s belly and stood up. He walked to their bathroom and returned quickly with a wet cloth.

            He cleaned them both quickly and efficiently and laid the cloth on the bed-side table before returning to his lover’s waiting arms.

            “You are tired,” Spock observed as he tucked Jim’s head under his chin and pulled the covers over them.

            “You did a good job tiring me out,” Jim grinned up at his Vulcan. “A damn good job,” he planted a bruising kiss on Spock’s neck.

            “I am pleased to assist you in sleeping,” Spock hugged his Human to him more tightly.

            “You’re always going to be my best and favourite teddy bear,” Jim yawned before drifting off to sleep, leaving his new lover to do the same.

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