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“Captain’s Log, Supplemental. We are staying on what has been called “Mudd’s Planet” for another week, in order to help the android population clean up the mess Mudd left behind and begin to decide their own destiny. It is hard but satisfying work. The sentient androids here have great potential.”


The door chime to the guest quarters rang. Kirk turned off his portable recorder. “Come,” he called.


The door opened and Norman, the leader of the android population, walked in.


“Good day, Captain,” he intoned. “Am I disturbing you?”


Kirk rose. “Not all.” He motioned the android to a seat. “How may I help you?”


Norman regarded him steadily. “I am hoping to help you, Captain.”


Kirk looked puzzled. “In what way?” he asked.


“You have been very helpful to my people,” Norman explained. “You and your crew are giving us the assistance we need to truly create a culture of our own.” He paused, and there was a glint of almost-humor in his eyes. “And you gave us a solution to the problem of Harry Mudd.”


Kirk grinned. Mudd, the human who had tried to enslave the androids, was now in the custody of 500 of them, all modeled after his shrew of a wife, Stella. He wouldn’t be causing anyone trouble anymore.


“You owe us nothing,” he said.


“I know that, but I would like to give you something, if I can.” Norman paused for a moment. “In my time on your ship,” he finally said, “I became aware of your…regard…for Commander Spock.”


Kirk froze. Of all the ‘people’ to find out his secret…for it was a secret, buried in Kirk’s psyche as deep as he could manage. He was in love with Spock. The two worked together so well; everyone on the ship knew they were an ideal command team and close friends, but that was all they knew. Kirk had seen to that. Now, to have this machine find out his feelings…


“Captain, please,” Norman said. “There is no cause for alarm. I have not told anyone of your feelings. I simply picked up on them; my makers created me with a strong telepathic sense. It was necessary in order for me to oversee all the others here.”


Kirk breathed out slowly. “All right,” he said warily. “So you know. Why are you bringing it up now?”


Norman looked at him. “Captain, while Mudd was still our master, he ordered us to create an android version of Commander Spock. I believe Mudd thought that such an android could help him when he stole your ship.” Norman shrugged. “It is a perfect copy in every way. I would like to offer you the chance to…spend time with it, to give it what you cannot give your officer—your affection, your love.”


Kirk simply stared at him, amazed at the android—and at himself for not immediately refusing. To be able to touch Spock—even a replica of Spock. To be able to hold him, to kiss him, to feel those elegant hands on his body—Kirk shook his head.


“No. No…thank you, but no.”


“Captain, please reconsider. Our people have a very deep sense of obligation towards you, and the…replica…would be able to serve a purpose before we have to deactivate it.” Norman looked almost sad. “Even a machine, Captain, should accomplish something before it is gone forever.”


Kirk knew he should say no. He knew this was utter madness. But the thought of finally living his dream, if only for a day…After a long moment, Norman rose.


“We will speak no more of this,” he said. “In two days time, I will send the Spock model here at this hour. If you wish to be here, do so. If the room is empty when Spock 1 comes, he will return to me for deactivation.” He bowed slightly. “Captain.”


Norman left. Kirk sat staring into space for a long time.




Now, two days later, Kirk sat on the divan in his temporary lodgings, waiting for an android version of his First Officer to walk in and fulfill his fantasies. It seemed like something out of a bad porn vid, but Kirk could not make himself leave, could not convince himself that he should decline what was being offered.


The door opened, and Spock walked in.


Except that it wasn’t Spock.


The android copy was perfect in every detail. It was dressed on one of the coveralls that all the male androids wore, with a “1” badge on a chain around its neck, but the drab outfit could not hide the perfect copy of Spock’s slim, muscular figure, his long, graceful, neck, his flawless, faintly olive complexion. The beautifully-molded face was perfect, right down to the sensual lips and elegant ears. Even the deep brown eyes and glossy black hair were perfect.


The figure inclined his head. “You are James,” he said in a perfect imitation of Spock’s voice. He walked gracefully across the room and stopped in front of Kirk, looking down at the seated human. “Norman told me you would most likely be here.”


“Yes.” Kirk’s throat was so tight he could hardly say the word.


“He told me…he told me I am here for your contentment.” The android sat down next to Kirk, carefully keeping an unthreatening distance from the human. “I am…pleased that I can offer you such.” He tilted his head to one side, regarding Kirk thoughtfully. “Am I satisfactory? Do I…sufficiently resemble your Commander Spock?”


Kirk looked at him, reaching out one hand to gently touch the porcelain-smooth cheek, letting his fingers stroke across the tender hollow as he had so often imagined. He continued touching the android’s face, allowing one finger to trace the sculpted lips. It had to be his imagination, but for an instant, he thought the android actually leaned into his touch, as if he craved it, as if he could respond, as if he could…desire…


Kirk jerked his hand away.


“I…I’m sorry,” Kirk said, even as he realized how ridiculous it was to apologize to an android. “I can’t do this.” He turned away, determined not to keep looking at the perfect mechanical copy of Spock.


For a moment, the android was silent. “May I ask…why not?” he finally said softly in a perfect imitation of Spock’s deep, velvety tones, a voice that Jim heard in his dreams.


“You’re…you’re not him,” Jim replied sadly. “Oh, you’ve got him down to the life, everything from your posture to your voice. But it’s disrespectful to him. He doesn’t want me, and I should not use his image so. And it’s…it’s not fair to you, either. I can’t use you that way, even if you are simply a very well-designed machine.” He kept his head turned away, and he felt rather than saw ‘Spock’ moving nearer.


“I confess I cannot see why it is…disrespectful to the Commander,” he said quietly. “If he does not want what you offer, why should you not be free to seek out another?”


Jim turned around. The android was indeed sitting quite close, almost close enough to touch. Kirk could actually feel the warmth of his artificial body. The deep brown eyes, as everything else a perfect copy of Spock’s, were filled with what looked like concern.


Kirk shrugged. “Maybe,” he acknowledged the android’s argument. “But it is still not fair to you. If you are indeed modeled after my First Officer, you have such abilities, both physical and mental. If you are like him, you are…extraordinary.” For a second, he paused, remembering that Norman had promised that there would be no android Spock allowed to remain. But he pushed that thought away. Perhaps this being did not know, and if he didn’t, Kirk could not bring himself to tell him. “My point is that you’re special. You shouldn’t just be a…receptacle for my fantasies.”


The android looked at him thoughtfully, head tilted to one side. “Even if I wished to be such a receptacle?”


Kirk laughed shortly. “No offense, but you’re an android. As I understand it, you can’t ‘wish’ for anything.” The bitterness in his own voice took Kirk aback. If only you were Spock; if only Spock were saying these words to me…


“Yet you are concerned about both my non-existent feelings and fulfilling my potential—neither of these is exactly ‘appropriate’ for an artificial life form.” The being’s eyes were filled with warmth, even if it was computer-generated. “It would seem to me that you are leaving yourself ‘the worst of both worlds,’ as humans would say. You will not impose yourself on Commander Spock because you believe he does not desire you. You will not impose yourself on me, even though I am willing, because you believe it unfair.” ‘Spock’ moved closer and very gently laid one hand on Kirk’s shoulder. “Perhaps, just this once, in this place, you should do what you truly wish to do, knowing that you hurt no one, knowing that just once, you deserve your dream to come true.” He allowed his hand to stroke down Kirk’s arm, sending a tingle of surprising pleasure along the human’s skin. Kirk closed his eyes, shivering as the feeling ran through him. Even that slight touch was arousing. He was so tired—tired of pretending, tired of turning away, tired of always making the right decision, the responsible decision…the lonely decision. He damned himself for six kinds of a fool, but he simply could not turn and walk away again. Even if this was nothing more than a dream, it was the most exquisite dream he’d ever had, and he could not make himself give it up. He sighed as a pair of strong, certain arms went around him, drawing him close. He moaned faintly as a pair of strong, warm lips found the side of his neck, gently planting a row of tiny kisses along his jaw until they reached his ear.


“Please, James. Let me…let me please you. Just once, let me pleasure you. Let your dream come true.”


Kirk could no longer resist. “Yes,” he breathed, opening his eyes and staring into that perfect copy of the beloved face, so close to his own. “Yes.”


For long moments, the android simply held Kirk close, his hands gently playing in the soft hair at the nape of Kirk’s neck, his lips just brushing Kirk’s jaw with those small, sweet kisses. Kirk sighed in delight, drinking in every sensation. Somehow, he had expected the android to simply take him, to perform a mechanical, impersonal sex act, and to his shame, Kirk knew he would have settled for that. This tenderness, this feeling of being wrapped in love, was so unexpected yet so welcome that Kirk could only move closer, nestling into the comforting arms, savoring every silent, careful caress. Some tiny part of him knew it was all a lie, an illusion, but Kirk determinedly ignored that knowledge.


Kirk was lost, floating, and content to be so. He didn’t want to stop, to question what he was doing with, as he himself had called it, ‘a very well-designed machine.’ Somehow, his clothes were gone, as were the android’s. Kirk didn’t remember getting undressed, but that did not matter. He only knew that he was holding Spock, that he was naked in Spock’s arms, kissing Spock, feeling Spock’s arms around him, his hot, hard body pressed close, the silky hair on his chest teasing Kirk’s nipples with delicious flickers of sensation, Spock’s clever, long-fingered hands moving down his back to cup and squeeze his buttocks in a rhythm so sweet, so urgent, that Kirk could only gasp and press his flesh deeper into those capable hands. He found himself rocking in the android’s embrace, torn between the pleasure of the caressing hands on his ass and the exciting hardness rubbing against his own eager cock. He moaned as one of those talented hands moved between his cheeks, the supple fingers slipping forward and petting his swollen balls with such perfect pressure, such tender authority, that Jim’s cock jerked between them, the pearly fluid beginning to leak from it as Kirk panted softly.


“Oh, please. Please.”


“Yes, James, tell me. What do you desire?”


“I want…I want you inside me. Please. Take me.”


“Yes,” the deep voice murmured. “Yes.” The powerful yet gentle hands pushed Jim back on the divan and then parted his thighs, stroking and caressing the corded muscles. The hands slowly moved upwards, cupping and playing with Kirk’s erection, gathering the silky pre-cum on their fingers and then moving lower again. The hands lingered there a long time, alternately arousing and soothing, as if their owner could not bear to move away from Kirk’s aching cock. Finally, one careful digit reached beneath Jim and began to move back and forth between his cheeks, spreading the dewy moisture and gradually relaxing the cleft until the finger slipped, almost by accident, into the puckered opening that welcomed it so easily.


Jim hissed and pushed himself onto that finger, groaning as the pad stroked across his prostate. A second probe joined the first, the two fingers working deeply in him now, Kirk moaning and moving himself against them, savoring the sweet burn, the deep craving, feeling himself so close, so very close, to the edge but not wanting to come, not wanting this to ever end. He knew in some secret part of himself that he should be ashamed of how open, how hungry his body was for this simulation of Spock, but he didn’t care; he couldn’t care. This was the only chance he’d ever have to even come close to the being he loved with all his soul, and Kirk was going to glean everything he could from the experience, enough memories to live on for the rest of his lonely life.


“Now,’ he murmured, reaching out and grasping the shaft, like velvet-covered marble, that was rubbing against his own aching hardness, coating itself with his moisture. “Please, go inside me, now.”


Slowly, inch by tormenting inch, the hot, full rod moved into Kirk’s body, brushing against his prostate like a butterfly’s kiss, causing him to arch and stretch as the perfectly designed cock delved into his very core, sweetly stroking him from within, languidly caressing every place that had so long hungered to be filled, to be touched, to be claimed. With a groan, Kirk cupped the perfectly designed ass cheeks in his hands, pulling the body closer to him, wordlessly begging for more.


And he got more. A hot hand wrapped itself around Kirk’s weeping cock, stroking it in time to the long, slow, delicious thrusts which gradually became long, deep, pounding drives into Kirk’s passage, which spasmed around the welcome invader as Kirk wrapped his legs around the body above him, locking them together in sweet combat. Everything that Kirk was responded to this perfect simulation of the man he loved as he kissed and licked neck and nipples, as he let his hands stroke perfectly designed ears and bury themselves in silky, night-black hair, as his cock quivered and jerked in the tight, loving grasp, a blanket of hot, rich sperm flowing over both bodies as the skilled hands coaxed one climax after another from the human’s body.


“Spock! Oh, Spock, I love you,” Jim moaned softly as he came one final time, still wrapped in those tireless arms, still speared by that tireless shaft.


Finally, it was finished. The being who had given Kirk his dream gently disentangled himself from the human’s limbs and rose, going to the small bath that adjoined the chamber. Dimly, Kirk felt him return, felt him gently clean Kirk’s body with a warm, wet towel, removing all evidence of what had happened. More than half asleep, he felt the being pull a warm blanket over his body, felt a gentle hand smooth the hair back from his brow, heard a soft voice murmur, “Good bye, James.”


When Kirk woke, the android was gone. The dream was over.




Four days later, Kirk sat in his cabin, dully staring at his small screen as Mudd’s Planet receded from view. He hoped with all his soul that he never had to see the place again.


With a weary sigh, he lowered his head into his hands, his elbow pushing aside the brandy he didn’t want and hadn’t touched.


What have I done? Oh dear God, what have I done? The experience with the android had done nothing to ease him, nothing to relieve him of his relentless, burning desire for someone he could never have. In fact, it was worse now than it had been before he’d ever heard of Mudd’s Planet or Norman. He now knew just how it felt to lie in Spock’s arms, to kiss and caress that perfect body, to love and be loved. Even if it was a dream, even if it was an illusion, it was too close to truth for Kirk to bear.


The door chimed. “Come,” Kirk said listlessly.


It was Spock. He hesitated for a moment as he took in the sight of Jim slumped in his chair, face tired and somber. “Captain?” he asked quietly. “Would you rather be alone?”


Kirk roused himself. It would never do for Spock to suspect. “No; please come in, Spock.” He waited until the Vulcan was standing in front of his desk. “Would you like to sit down?”


“No. I would prefer to stand.” Spock took a deep breath. “Captain,” he said formally, “I submit myself for disciplinary action.”


Kirk just stared at him. It was as if his First Officer had suddenly started speaking Klingon. “Spock?” he questioned. He tried to smile. “What are you talking about? I can’t imagine you of all people doing anything that needs reprimand.”


Spock brought his closed hand out from behind his back. Opening it, he laid a small object on Kirk’s desk. For an instant, Kirk simply stared at it, not realizing what he saw.


It was an android’s neck tag, with a “1” on it.


Kirk reacted as if Spock had dropped a poisonous snake on his desk. In a flash, he was out of his chair, which crashed against the back wall.


“It…it was you!” Kirk gasped. For a moment, he felt like he would never draw another breath, felt his heart hammering so hard his chest hurt. “It wasn’t an android. You lied to me. You used me!” Never had he imagined such treachery from Spock, the one being he trusted. “You son of a bitch, you fucked me and I let you, I wanted you so much that I let you, you lied to me, you lied, lied, lied…” He broke off, covering his face with his hands, cowering against the wall, unable to even look at Spock. The Vulcan took one step toward him but stopped as he saw Kirk flinch.


“Jim, please,” Spock said desperately, his face a reflection of the pain Kirk felt. “I beg you. Let me explain; let me talk for five minutes. Then, if you want me to go, I will leave and transfer off the Enterprise, if that is your wish.”


Even in the midst of his anger and hurt, the word ‘transfer’ struck Kirk like a blow. He pulled away from the wall and shakily sat down again, clasping his hands together on the desk to keep them from trembling. He’d listen. What did it matter now? What did anything matter, now that he knew his dream was worse than an illusion; it was an utter lie. “All right,” he replied tonelessly. “Explain to me why you perpetuated such a farce, such a cruel joke.”


Spock dropped into the other chair. “Jim, it was no joke.” Spock swallowed hard, trying to find the right words quickly. “Norman came to me; he made me the same offer that I suspect he made you, an offer to thank me for what we had done for his planet. He…he told me about your wish, told me I could pretend to be an android and fulfill your fantasy, make love to you.”


Kirk closed his eyes, feeling the shame burn through him. Spock seemed to know how he felt, but then, Spock so often did. Greatly daring, Spock reached out and covered the human’s hands with his own.


“Jim, please do not feel that way,” he pleaded. “Do you think I agreed to Norman’s request to hurt you, to make fun of you? Jim, what happened was something I had longed for, dreamed about for years.” Spock jerked his head towards the opposite wall, the wall that separated their quarters. “You cannot know,” the deep, soft voice spoke longingly, “of the nights I spent lying just on the other side of that wall, my body, my mind, all that I am burning for you, longing for one touch.” He actually smiled, a tiny, sad, pain-filled smile. “I wonder that I did not go insane. When Norman made his offer, it was as if I could finally live in my dream, could possess you, if only for a day. I thought it would be enough.” He looked down, color washing across his fine-grained skin. “It only made me want more.”


“You too?” The reply was almost inaudible, but Spock heard it, and he nodded. Slowly, Kirk turned his hand over and took Spock’s in his grasp. “Spock, why didn’t you say something before?” he whispered, overwhelmed.


The color came and went in Spock’s face once again. “I…I believed you would not want me.” He made himself look up, the chocolate brown eyes filled with such anguish that Kirk felt a sick throb in his own heart. “You…you are so beautiful, so wonderful. You could have anyone in the galaxy. You have had so many. Why would you want me?” He looked at their clasped hands, began to run his thumb gently across Kirk’s palm. “What I did was wrong, and I hurt you, the one being I never, never wanted to hurt. I meant what I said. If you wish me to leave the Enterprise, I will do so, with such sadness, such pain as you can never know.” He looked up. “It was still worth it, worth all the agony I suffer now.” He dropped his head, plainly exhausted, completely emotionally drained.


”Spock. Oh, Spock.” Jim just stared at him, his own pain and shame still washing through him. He slumped in his chair, lowering his head until his forehead rested on their clasped hands, a weary lassitude creeping over him as his anger drained away, leaving only sorrow and longing. He felt a careful hand lightly touch his bent head, careful fingers tenderly caress his neck.


“Jim,” Spock’s voice was trembling. “Jim, what can I do to make this right? What can I do to make you stop…stop hating me?”


The question went through Kirk like a shot of adrenalin. “Hate you?” he echoed. “Hate you? Oh, Spock.” He rose to his feet, pulling away from Spock’s grasp and walked around the desk, only to fall to his knees before the Vulcan, pulling him out of the chair and into his arms, kneeling on the cold, hard floor with Spock in his arms, his own body shivering with the intensity of his feelings.


“I’m sorry; I’m so sorry,” his voice was hoarse with suppressed tears. “All the times I turned away from you because I didn’t have the courage to speak, all the women I flaunted in front of you because I couldn’t have what I wanted….Oh, Spock. I am as much to blame as you.” He lifted his face to Spock’s and kissed him, feeling the tears overflow and run down his face, the taste of salt on their joined lips. He kissed Spock until both of them were gasping for breath, kissed him until his tears dried away, kissed him until they were both limp, each trying to hold up the other. Kirk finally pulled back, his eyes drinking in the beloved face so close to his, his thumb gently tracing a single tear track on Spock’s check. I never knew Vulcans cried.


“We do not,” Spock whispered, reading his thoughts, “unless the cause is sufficient.” Kirk’s heart broke for him.


“Please, don’t,” he whispered. “I am not worthy of your tears.”


Spock shook his head. “Only you are worthy,” he replied softly. He hesitated for a moment. “I…I do not have the right to ask this, but will you forgive me for what I did?”


“With all my heart,” Kirk murmured, laying his head on Spock’s shoulder. “I love you, Spock. I meant it on Mudd’s Planet, and I mean it now. I love you.”


For what might have been minutes or hours, they knelt together, craving each other’s warmth, afraid to let go for fear that one or both of them would wake from the dream.


At last, Spock stood, still holding Kirk in his arms. “Come,” he murmured. “You are exhausted.” He led Kirk into his sleeping area, guided him to the bed, and helped him in, removing his boots but otherwise leaving him untouched. He covered Kirk with a blanket and leaned down to daringly kiss the human’s brow. He gasped as warm arms wound themselves around his neck, as human strength, fueled by longing, pulled him down on top of Kirk.


“Please,” Kirk whispered. “Stay with me. Don’t leave me. Don’t make me wake up alone.”


“Jim…Jim you’re tired…”


“I will sleep, I promise,” Kirk whispered, his eyes the eyes of a sorcerer, their golden light enchanting Spock with promises of tomorrow, “but only if you stay.”


Spock melted into his embrace. “I will stay,” he whispered back, crawling under the covers and wrapping Kirk in his arms. “Sleep now, love. Sleep.”


Kirk snuggled close, resting his head in the tender hollow between Spock’s shoulder and neck. “And when I wake,” Spock heard him murmur, “when I wake, I want you to dream with me again.”


“I promise.” The two drifted off together. In the quiet cabin, the subdued light glittered on the “1” tag left behind on Kirk’s desk. It would never be claimed. As Norman had promised, the android Spock was gone; it had been replaced by a man in love.





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