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Deja Vue

by UKJess

Kirk eyed Spock's towering pillar of green jade and sighed.

"Spock, what the hell are we supposed to do with all that jade,

there's barely room enough room in our quarters as it is!"

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow and looked significantly at

the twin, creamy-white globes laid on the bed for his

inspection and appreciation. "The gemstone is a vital

component in my latest research project. I intend to

use it to contruct a duodinetic field core, and I feel

contrained to point out that there would be ample space

if you had not purchased those two er... artifacts."

"Hey, that's a pair of genuine antique Aldeberan astrolobes..."

Spock, however, was undeterred. He pointed an accusing

finger at the rose-brown organ that stood so proudly, as

though imploring the attention that was its due. "And what

is more," he said sternly, "you cannot even play that


"At least I didn't waste two whole years pay endowing a

blasted breeding programme for donkeys!"

Suddenly, impossibly, Spock looked hurt. "Jim, I thought

you understood. The Ascem programme is one of the

latest hopes of saving endangered species such as the High

Firm Ass, the Small Tight Ass and the Generous

Ass -- without the work of the Ascem Institute, these

harmless useful creatures might well become extinct."

"Yeah, but you might have asked me before you spent my

pay as well!"

Spock felt a twinge of conscience. The conscience in

Vulcans is a small organ situated immediately under the

diaphragm, and one of the reasons for the high ethical

standard of the race is that a tender conscience can give its

owner terrible gas. It was true, he had spent his lover's

remuneration for the next two standard years. He had not

even left Jim enough to purchase the lollipops which were

his secret vice. Now he would have nothing on a stick he

could lave in his off-duty moments, nothing he could thrust into

the moist, welcoming cavern between those two luscious labial

surfaces. He hanged his head.

Looking round, Kirk caught sight of the bent, glossy, black cap

and all anger fled. He went up to Spock and twined his arms

round his neck, drawing his head down for a kiss, tasting once

again the familiar flavour of alien spice.

He tipped his head back and glared up at his lover.

"Spock," he growled, "have you been eating that Denebian

curry again?"

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