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Acknowledging that he would soon need a mate

Spock contacted Vulcan and set up a date

To submit a complete personality test

So that VSA science could pick out the best.

But when Spock went to visit the consort they chose,

All thoughts of romance almost instantly froze.

He felt not a bit of attraction, it's true,

But you don't question logic, so what could he do?

He beamed up to say to the first in command

That he had to resign 'cause his wedding was planned.

But he got a surprise. "Are you crazy?" said Kirk.

"Computer selection in love doesn't work!"

The captain continued, "In my college day,

Our roommates and prom dates were chosen that way.

Come look at those memories deep in my mind--

You'll be horrified by the trauma you find."

Sacrificing the distance a Vulcan prefers,

Spock reached for Kirk's face, saying, "My thoughts to yours."

And once he had searched the experiences out,

Spock knew what his captain was talking about.

A roommate in college who vacuumed the floor

From three in the morning until about four

Was almost as bad as a date for a dance

Who showed up in nothing but pink underpants.

There were memories of partners selected for Jim

Who drank so much beer that they threw up on him.

Cold fear turned the Vulcan a pale shade of gray.

Would his arranged marriage turn out in that way?

Still trembling, he slowly emerged from the meld,

And the smile he saw on the face that he held

Brought epiphany crashing on him from above:

*My captain, James Kirk, is the one that I love!*

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