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I tried to drown myself for once
In someone else’s arms,
Forget the longing
For you that devours me
From inside.

Now I contemplate
In acid-stomached depression,
My eyes burnt and dead,
How profoundly wasted
A thing was this night.

That which was yours,
Hoarded and treasured,
Which you never claimed,
Given away now.

Emptied now, I discover
That what I kept for you
Was that which gave me life,
Energy, breath.

Had you claimed it,
It would have redoubled,
And again, again,
Until it filled the universe.

I have betrayed you,
But more, myself;
And basely used
One who offered solace.

My passion is dead;
What was it like?
And my honor,
trampled?

All I know now,
All I truly understand,
Is that I am dust, walking.
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