Spock died that night and so did half my soul.
Edith was meant to die but she didn’t.
My T’hy’la left me that night, my Ashaya died in my arms and I couldn’t stop it.
“Ashaya don’t cry for me. You need to stay alive and return to the ship. My heart is yours and so is my soul. You cannot follow me where I am going… I cherish thee James T Kirk”
Then slowly the light left his eyes and my world.
We were now stuck in this world, the past. Bones could cope with this life; he is now in love with Edith. Bones will live a long and happy life.
But this world is not for me and I will soon be with Spock again. This isn’t a suicide.
It’s the start of my afterlife with Spock.
Don’t pity me because I will see him soon.