Jim had been watching mindless, late nineties sitcoms all afternoon. It was his day off, he was allowed to do stupid things. He happened to enjoy that era of television. It made things easier, somehow.
Spock didn't approve of Jim's habits. He refused to speak to him when he indulged in this rather odd behavior. Jim didn't mind, sometimes he thought his husband spoke too much anyways. And why the hell did he feel the need to be so loud?
"Spock, come sit beside me," Jim said, turning the monitor volume up and patting the space on the bed next to him.
"I would rather not,"
"You will never understand why I like this show so much if you do not let me show you. Each of the main characters relates to one of our close friends. You are going to love this. I promise." Jim laughed.
"If you say so, Jim,"
"Alright, so Lieutenant Uhura is like that spacy blond girl, Pheobe. Both of them are very spiritual, love deeply, and say things that don't quite make total sense. For example, Pheobe once believed that her dead mother had been reincarnated as a feline, which is as you would say 'illogical', but she believed it and they tried to humor her in doing so. Uhura doesn't make sense in the same way. Also, if you have been paying attention, which I'm sure you have been, you know that Uhura is strong, persistent, and never takes no for an answer. I guess you of all people should know that since you dated her and crap, but we are pretending that didn't happen for the moment."
"Why is that?"
"Because it takes away from my story. If you watch Pheobe in any instance, such as her continuing to play music outside of the restaurant even after she was asked to stop time and time again. Uhura wouldn't allow her assignment not be the Enterprise. So, just for the time being Pheobe's husband Mike will be referenced as Scotty. He doesn't need an explanation."
"No, you don't and it is because I'm not done yet,"
"Then go on,"
"Next, we have Sulu, our loyal helmsman. He is great. I dig him. A real stand up guy, and oddly enough a wonderful actor. What he did for us when we were trying to capture Khan, pretending to be the Captain, that was amazing. So, because of that I have decided that Sulu is like Joey. Joey is a really outgoing, womanizing, actor. He struggles, sometimes he doesn't believe that he is good enough for the big times, but then something good happens to him and he has a massive confidence boost in his job. Hikaru is the same way. He was fearful of that chair, at first, only to then find that it felt good to sit in it. I could see him having command of his own one day. You might not know this, Spock, but does get around on the ship. With me being taken, it seems like there are more women willing to sleep with bridge crew members."
Spock began stroking Jim's fingers. Jim wasn't sure if he was still listening to him or if he was off in his own little world, but he thought this over for a while and he was going to tell someone about it.
"That whiny dude, Ross, he is a doctor of some kind...a palentologist? Something like that. Anyways, I think that Bones fits him best. Bones has the exact same doom before happiness outlook on...well, almost everything. First thing he said to me was about death. Ross never thinks he can get what he wants, win, get the girl, yada, yada yada, you get the point. He is also divorced, like McCoy. Damn, it just makes so much sense. I love it. Back on topic, Ross loves Rachel. Well, Bones loves Carol. Just like for Ross and Rachel, Bones had had a crush on Carol forever, but never made a legitimate move. He just danced around the fact that he had feelings for her and practically waited for her to finally catch up. It is beautifully stupid, but ends up good in the end."
"Am I to assume that Carol is Rachel?" Spock asked.
"Yes, Carol is Rachel. She hides her true self at first, almost makes a huge mistake, and eventually gets the career of her dreams in the place of her dreams. Oh yeah, and Carol got pregnant with Anna before her and Bones got together. Rachel had Emma with Ross a few years before they got together on a permenant basis. The similarities are ridiculous. Sure, Carol is a blond and Rachel is a brunette, but you get the point. Just think, Carol is this beautiful, perfect type who was friends with you and opened up to YOU first. Rachel and Monica were friends before the other characters met each other as well."
"You believe I am Monica?"
Jim gave Spock's hand a tight squeeze. "Yes, dear, but I will get to that in a moment. First, I want to tell you about Chandler."
"Who is Chandler?"
"Chandler is Monica's husband,"
"I believe I see where this is going,"
"I hope so, because I really feel like I relate to Chandler. He is a really funny guy, sometimes off his game, but usually on it. Eventually in the series he finds a job that he is really good at and loves more than life itself, much like me becoming a starship Captain which I love. Chandler is way out of Monica's league too. It is funny because he is like a complete five while she is an eleven and a half. You are way out of my league, you are all kinds of sexy and intelligent, make me look bad all the time. They hook up almost on accident. It is so fufilling when they get married that everyone cries. I feel like that relates to us. We hooked up right after the whole Khantastic thing. Everyone wanted us to get married. When we did, it was practically a holiday."
"You are sexy and intelligent as well,"
"Not the point, Spock."
"Moving on, Chandler and Monica adopt twins and we are looking into adopting children of our own. We aren't going to be complete until we are parents."
There was a strange silence for a moment. The only noise was coming from the television show dialogue. Jim watched Spock's eyes. He was actually paying attention to the plot and everything that was going on. It made him smile.
Finally, Spock spoke again. "Do you mind telling me about Monica?"
"I thought you would never ask," Jim paused to get in a good chuckle. "Monica is perfect. She is beautiful, so smart it isn't funny, logical, funny, fashion savvy, and a little exccentric. I think you are all of those things. You could be Monica. She had trouble as a child, she was made fun of and her parents never fully accepted her until she was an adult and even then she had to fight for it. You, my love, were bullied and the weird relationship you have with your father is similar to hers with her mother. It is wonderful, really. Monica was always my favorite character and now I have one of my own. Heck, you are both pale with dark hair which is for some reason a massive turn on of mine...especially right now."
Spock rested his head on Jim's shoulder. "I believe I am beginning to understand your fascination with this series, it is most interesting, especially when I relate the characters you described with their crew member counterparts."
"I believe I am beginning to fall in love with you just a little bit more,"
The ever wonderful couple shared a loving kiss before getting a interruption from Starfleet.
"Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, we have some wonderful news for you coming from New Vulcan," Admiral Komack said as soon as he was on the viewscreen.
"Go on," Jim said evenly.
"There is a woman who intends to give her unborn child up for adoption. She is Vulcan and the father is Romulan, but we did not think that would matter to the two of you. She was pleased with your file. We would like for you to go to New Vulcan and meet with her at your earliest convinence."
"We will set course for the colony as soon as possible," Jim was beaming.
"Good. And Good luck. You are one of four couples she will be interviewing so that she can select the perfect family for her baby."
"Thank you. Kirk out." Jim disconnected. "Damn."
"We are going to be parents," Spock said quietly.
"We don't know that yet,"
"Honey, we aren't sure yet that she will pick us,"
"The statistical likelihood that the Vulcan woman will pick us is 89.87%,"
"We are going to be parents, Monica," Jim giggled and hugged his husband with all his strength.
"Yes we are, Chandler," Spock replied a bit awkardly, but it was wonderful all the same. They deserved this.