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Story Notes:

I was just watching this episode yesterday and thought there are some things left unsaid.

"Jim! I still need check if there aren't any side effects of what you experienced," McCoy told his best friend.
The two of them were in Jim's quarters, and McCoy was happy to have his friend back. But who am I kidding. If there is anyone who could come back from a thing like this, it is James-I-don't-believe-in-No-Win-Scenarios-Kirk.
"I'm fine. You gave me a Check Up three hours ago," Jim argued.
"I know, I know. But you should talk to Spock. The poor guy's been going through hell these last few hours," McCoy stated.
"Why? He did a good job, and the ship's fine."
"You should have seen him when we couldn't beam you back. He practically shoved Scotty out of the way, and had a look of desperation in his eyes I haven't seen before on anyone."
"He's Vulcan, Bones."
"Well, for a Vulcan he looked desperate. I could see it in his eyes. And that's why he stayed, I think. He wanted to get you back."
Jim looked at McCoy, trying to make sense of what the Doctor had just said. Seeing the confusion in Jim's eyes, McCoy could only shake his head. These two are unbelievable. For two geniuses they sure can be stupid when it comes to their own feelings.
Before either of them could say anything more, there was a knock on the door, and Spock came in. McCoy gave Jim a clap on the shoulder which said "You know what to do. Do it!", even when McCoy wasn't entirely sure that Jim really knew what to do. But he and Spock would figure the whole thing out eventually.


"What is it, Spock?" Jim asked his friend.
"I... am glad that you are ok, Captain," Spock answered.
"Jim, Spock. It's Jim. We're alone and neither of us is on duty."
"Jim. I thought you were..."
"Dead, I know. I didn't believe for a second that you and McCoy haven't watched the tape. You laid it on a bit too thick to make it believable," Jim finished the sentence softly.
"I should have known. You know me far too well," Spock answered, and sat down next to the friend he had thought he had lost forever.
"I know Bones, and he wouldn't follow without giving you some lecture about feelings. But what are you feeling Spock? Bones told me something about desperation." Jim stood up from his bed, where he had been sitting before to look Spock in the eye.
"I am not sure, Jim. This is not something I am very experienced with."
"You are not experienced to put it into words. That's a difference," Jim argued.
Spock looked at him. Deep inside he knew what he was feeling. He loved this human, who was always coming back to him, even in the most difficult circumstances. What he didn't know was, how to tell Jim, and how Jim felt himself. Jim was as good in hiding his own feeling as Spock himself was. Instead of suppressing his feeling he simply hid everything behind a smile. Though Spock had learned to recognize the real ones, and was probably the only one, besides McCoy, who was able to do that.
"Spock? What is it? You've been staring at the wall for five minutes now." Jim sounded a bit concerned.
"Jim. I have to tell you something. Please hear me out before you say anything." Spock waited until Jim nodded, before he continued: "I care much for you, Jim. Humans call it love, I think."
Spock was watching Jim closely as he said this. He watched as Jim's expression changed from confusion to joy.
"You do?" he asked, and still couldn't believe his ears.
Spock nodded.
Suddenly all strength had left Jim's legs, and he sat back down on his bed. Before he could say anything, Spock was beside him.
"I'm fine, Spock," he reassured the concerned Vulcan. "I just didn't expect you to return my feelings."
Spock took Jim's hand, and felt the same love from Jim he himself had for the human.
"Since when?" he asked him.
"Dunno. For quite some time," Jim answered, and squeezed Spock's hand.
Spock started kissing Jim the Vulcan way while Jim turned to Spock to kiss him the human way. Nothing had ever felt so right in his life.
"I'm sorry for what I put you through, Spock, but I had to make sure you and Bones get back to the ship safely."
"Do not speak of it, Ashayam. I understand. But please do not do such a thing again," Spock answered.
Jim didn't know what that word meant, but he made a mental note to ask Uhura for a Crash Course in Vulcan. He wanted to at least understand the language even. But he couldn't learn it on his own, and he wanted to surprise Spock.

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