Not What You Think
People always believe certain things about my family and me when they hear that my childhood wasn’t the best. They always think it was my Stepfather that messed things up for us, that caused Sam to run away as soon as he could, or me to act out the way I did. Nothing could be further from the truth. After my Father died my mother was told to remain on Earth with me and Sam, being born premature and having so many allergies made things even worse for her. She couldn’t cope, so we ended up being sent to live with my grandparents on the family farm in Iowa, my mother ended up with a place at the Ship Yard and lived closer to there. I was around five months by then, and Sam was almost five.
They loved us so much, and we couldn’t help but love them back. They took care of us and as soon as they realised that Winona was not the best and would often shout at the two of us, they stopped her from coming to see us. Though it wasn’t that often to begin with, she tended to ignore us as much as she could. It was fine for us, we were loved and taken care of well. It was a lot of fun for us. Then when I was four, they began to deteriorate in health and they finally couldn’t cope with us anymore and we ended up back with Winona. She had no choice to come and live with us on the farm and going to the Ship Yard from there for her work.
That was the beginning of hell for us, a nightmare that we had to live with for over a year. Winona hated us both. She blamed Sam for her having to be there with us, and with me, she blamed me for our Father’s death. I know that she wished she could have remained with him and stayed with him, died with him and because of me she didn’t get that. Winona would hit us a lot, and sometimes so badly that we would black out from it. We took to hiding out in the barn or anywhere that was away from her. We would have to sneak it out of the house, but we had it and we lived on it for as long as we could.
A year and a half of hell and she went to the bar in the city one of the nights. She met one Frank Carson there, they quickly started dating and got married within a month of meeting. Frank, I know, loved her, but I think she didn’t and just wanted someone that would remain with Sam and I. He came to live with us and he soon saw what she was like with us. The first time was when Winona saw me trying to get a little food so we could hide out, she began to hit me and beat me. Sam had to come and rescue me as I began to black out. Frank had ended up helping us both and getting Winona away from us.
Frank had taken to doing all he could to keep her away from us, keeping her busy. It worked and things began to calm for us. Enough that Winona was able to get a posting in space, a six month posting. It was all thanks to Frank mentioning it to her and suggesting that he would be able to look after us and she would be able to go. So she did and we had a wonderful time without her. He worked on the farm and took the time when we were home from school to help us with our homework, we learnt how to ride the horses, and it was brilliant. We even went on a camping trip as well, a week in the woods, it was brilliant. And he was the best thing that had happened to us since we live with our grandparents.
Then the six months was over and she was back on Earth, three months and the nightmare of abuse returned. Frank wanted to try and tell the authorities, and even threatened it the once. It didn’t work, and Winona was able to find a way to get around Frank and to us. We told him not to do it again, we knew that if he tried it again, or even told someone that she would turn it all around and blame him for everything. If that happened we would be left with her, and on our own with no one to help protect us. We still got beaten, but Sam and I knew that it could be a lot worse if Frank hadn’t been there.
Frank had to patch us up all the time, but with him being there, we were happy part of the time. One time when I was around seven I called him Dad, and Sam said the same. But he told us that we shouldn’t do that, he didn’t want to replace our Father. We know that, even then, but we couldn’t get through to him that he wasn’t replacing George Kirk, he had his own place in our heart for him. He never accepted the reasons, and kept insisting not to call him Dad.
Frank did so much during the years when Winona was off world. I learnt so much from him, woodwork, how to take care of the farm. Rock climbing was my favorite and he taught us how to survive in the wild without anything to help us but out wits. When I was eleven, he taught me and Sam how to drive cars, classic ones and the new ones. It was a brilliant skill to have according to him. He encouraged us in school, to better ourselves, and we also learnt a few languages from him as well. I got my love of learning from him, I love to learn something new because I can always hear him in the background encouraging me.
I celebrate my twelfth birthday with the two of them, and it was brilliant. It was only the second time I had been able to do so. Since every other time Winona had been there and we had to attend the Kelvin Memorial. Then Winona came back, but now we had Uncle Paul with us. The two of them were… indescribable. Winona would beat us when she saw us and Paul would do so as well. Frank did all he could to try and keep us safe, but he couldn’t all the time as he worked.
It was another two months before she went back into space. She left but we still had Paul living with us. Frank did all he could to make sure that we were kept safe when Paul tried to beat us up. In the end Paul had been able to beat Frank up and he ended up in hospital for a few days, which was when everything really went to hell. He beat the two of us up, but this time, Sam couldn’t take no more and he ran away. He told me to hold tight and as soon as he was settled, he would send for me.
Nothing ever works when you plan things out like that, before Sam had gone, I heard Paul talking about selling my Father’s classic car. The very one that we had used learnt to drive with. Frank, Sam and I had restored it and we all loved to drive it around. I couldn’t let him sell it, I couldn’t, I grabbed the keys and headed out. I had intended to hide it, but then Paul called the car and I knew that I was going to be dead if I go back, but I didn’t care. I decided to head to the quarry. A cop started chasing me, but I carried on and went towards the edge and drove it off. I almost didn’t jump out, but I thought of Frank and Sam and I knew I couldn’t do that. It hurt, but I got up.
The cop took me back home, a fine, but I didn’t care. Paul beat me as soon as I got back. Sam was gone, so he wasn’t there to help me at all. Frank was still in the hospital, though I didn’t know that he was already on his way home. I did tried to fight back, but of course I was a twelve year old that wasn’t that strong. So I ended up blacking out, not able to breath properly or anything.
I woke up almost three days later, Frank was beside my bed, watching over me. His eyes told me he was worried, but upset. He told me that Paul had been arrested for what he had done to me, which made me happy. Frank did chew me out about the car that my life wasn’t worth it, but to me, I didn’t want him to taint any of the memories that I had of the time I spent with Frank and Sam. I was in the hospital for over a week, and still not fully recovered when I went home. I got home to find Winona there once more. She had been called back after what had happened. She wasn’t happy about Paul, but she couldn’t blame Frank for what happened. Though I was sent away for punishment. I went to live with My Aunt Rita and Uncle Ernie on Tarsus IV.
Before you even start asking about Tarsus, yes I was there when the famine happened and Kodos executed all those men, women and children. My Aunt and Uncle were two of them. To be honest I really don’t want to talk about that. Not today, maybe one day I might do so. When it was all over, I was a thin scraggly fourteen years old, a lot more wild and unable to sleep or trust anyone around me. When we reached Earth after we were rescued, we were separated, which to me made things worse because I couldn’t protect the anymore.
Things were the same when I got home, that was until Paul was killed in a bar brawl three months later. I still don’t know how he had been able to get out of prison so early. Two weeks after the funeral Winona was back in space and this time she had a five-year mission. It was just myself and Frank, Sam would often visit us when he could. Slowly, with there help, I began to recover from what I had gone through. I calmed down a little and spent my time at home learning instead of in a school. I don’t think I would have been able to cope in a school at that point in time. I got in trouble a lot though, I still acted out a lot, got in trouble with the law on a number of occasions, but I did try at times. I started to settled down
I got into University though, was so happy to be able to go and not stay at home and do distant learning. I met a young woman and I thought I fell in love with her. Things were going so well and we finished our degrees and I thought, lets settle down. She said no and I ended up in trouble a couple of days later. Frank came and got me and I was back in Iowa. A day later I was in a bar and I tried to flirt with the most gorgeous woman there. That quickly escalated into a fight. It all ended up with me being dared to do better than George Kirk, next day I signed up to Starfleet.
I went through the academy and then Nero and the Nerada happened. It was hard, but we did it, we saved Earth, but Vulcan fell. I was suddenly in the spotlight, and everyone wanted to know me. Winona did try, but I wanted nothing to do with, not after all that she had done. Frank became my rock during that time, but then, so did someone else. After things had calmed down and we began our five year mission. I called Frank a number of times about my problem, my crush on my First Officer.
Spock and Nyota last a couple of months before they broke up. Frank gave me advice and told me to just take things slow, and let things go naturally. My crush didn’t leave me, I had fallen in love with Spock, how could I not. Then I got hurt during an attack, bad enough that Spock actually called Sam and Frank to tell them that I might die. Frank was there when I finally woke up on Earth almost two weeks later. Spock was right there as well, which didn’t really surprise me.
I spent almost a month on Earth recovering as the Enterprise was repaired. Spock and Frank took me to a small cabin and they watched over me. I think Frank was getting sick of us just dancing around each other, he called us both out and told us to talk. We actually did and we began to date, though I think Spock would tell you that Vulcan’s don’t date, but they do.
Spock took me out, and Frank was there smiling at us and he left us alone for the last week of the month we were there. That was almost two years ago. When Spock and I had a fight, it would be Frank that I would talk to, and occasionally Spock was call him as well. He would tell us off and told us that we should talk to each other and not him. Frank told us he found it annoying, but Spock and I could tell that he was happy that he was able to help the little fights that we had.
Sarek and Frank were the first ones we told about wanting to Bond on New Vulcan and get married on Earth. The two worked together to make sure that we would be able to do so when we wanted. Spock and I were bonded, and Frank was able to make it to New Vulcan, though Sam hadn’t been able to. He was helpful to us both, in making sure we got together. Spock and I are stronger than ever, thanks to him and making sure that we talked clearly to each other. Any time we are on Earth he would always try and say hello. And people still think the worst of him at times. I love correcting them, as does Spock.
Frank has been there for everything since I was five years old. He gave me the skills I needed to do what I do. He gave me the courage to carry on when things look bleak, and he helped me learn what my father did, and that there isn’t any such thing as a No-Win Situation. It all led me up to this very day, and for that I can’t help but be thankful to one Frank Carson for being in the bar for Winona to find and marry.
“Well Son,” came a voice from behind me.
I turned around and smiled as I saw the two men enter the room, “Hey Frank, hey Sam,” I greeted the two.
Sam smiled softly, looking at me, “Aurelan is out there waiting for me to help wrangle the kids,” he grinned, “I think all we need now and is you and that husband to be of yours to come and join us,” he finished.
Frank chuckled and nodded, “We’ll join you in a bit, I want to talk Jim for a moment,” he said to the older of the two, “keep those kids under control for a bit longer.”
Sam nodded slightly, “yeah,” he said as he walked over to me and hugged me tightly, “So proud of you little brother, congratulations,” he finished.
“Thanks Sam,” I replied as I held him just as tightly. I let him go as he smiled to me one last time before he left the room to back to Aurelan and my nephews.
“I’m damn proud of you Jim,” Frank told me softly as he walked closer, there was a gleam in his eyes as he looked to me.
“Thanks,” I smiled back as I hugged him tightly, “I doubt I would be here if it wasn’t for you,” I added.
“You would, you’re stubborn,” he chuckled, holding on just as tight, “Right, I have one last thing for you, Sam wore it and now its your turn,” he said as he moved back and handed me a pendant. I didn’t chance to wear it with Winona, but My brother wore it, my Uncles, my dad, every male in the family has wore this on their wedding day since the 1900’s,” he told him. It was a piece of amber but inside it looked like there was a four leaf clover inside of it, “For luck, though I don't think you’ll need that, but I want you to wear it,” he finished.
I smiled and nodded as I put the corded piece of amber over my head and tightened it so it sat against my neck, “Thanks Dad,” I said, seeing the look on his face, “I know you said not to, but you are my Dad, you always will be. I never knew George Kirk and he does hold a place in my heart, but you have your own special place as well. You married Winona and took Sam and I into your heart and loved us like sons, so you are our Dad. You may not be married to Winona any more, but you still are, so don’t argue with us,” I told him adding one last little bit, “You’ve been more of a parent to us that she has ever been.”
“All right,” he said shaking his head, he could tell that I would just ignore him from now on about it.
“Good,” I smiled, happy that he finally accepted it.
He smiled back and we began to walk out of the side room and into the main hall. I looked across to the other doorway that led to the other side room. I smiled brightly as I saw Spock. I walked towards the small stage, Frank walking with me. On the other side Spock was walking towards the small stage as well, Sarek walking beside him. It was time for us to finally get married, even though we were Bonded on New Vulcan almost six months ago. I wanted to get married on Earth so that Frank and Sam could be here with me.
Dad hugged me one last time as he gave a nod to Spock as he and Sarek took their seats and the celebrant began the service.
Frank walked over to the two of us as the reception carried on around us. Spock and I were thankful that we were able to have a small wedding, only for friends and family. Though I have no doubt that the wedding video will be doing the rounds on the Enterprise soon enough.
“Congratulations son,” Frank said as he hugged me and then looked to Spock, “And you as well,” he nodded too him, a smile on his face.
“Thank you,” Spock nodded back, while his face didn’t show a smile, I could see it in his eyes.
“Well, there is only one last thing to say to you Spock,” he began, “Welcome to one hell of a mad family,” he grinned to him.
Spock raised an eyebrow and nodded, “I have always felt welcomed by you,” he spoke softly.
“Good to know,” Frank told him as he looked to me, “now, why don’t the two of you head out, and here,” he said as he handed me an envelope, “go and enjoy the honeymoon. I know what the two of you were planning, but I changed a few things, instructions are in that,” he grinned as he then left us alone.
I opened it up and smiled, shaking my head. The cabin where we had stayed when I had been recovering from my injuries had been brought, and inside was the deed. I looked to my Dad and he winked to me as he mouthed, ‘Enjoy’.
“Well, shall we do as he said and leave?” I asked my new husband.
Spock looked to me as we shared a Vulcan kiss and nodded, “I believe that is a good idea.”
I chuckled and smiled, giving a wave to my Dad as he waved back. He got the attention of the room off us and Spock and I slipped out. We headed to the cabin where things had began for Spock and I. Everything in my life was good, I had found the love of my life, and I wouldn’t have dared to do anything if he hadn’t of called us out on the denial game we were playing with each other. Everything good that has happened in my life has been because of my Dad, Frank.