After Dagger of the mind
Jim sat thoughtfully in his quarters, and thought about what happened on that penal colony. It wasn't one of his fondest memories, but he had survived worse. No lasting damage was done, after all.
Suddenly he heard a voice: "You alright, Captain?"
It was Spock, who had somehow figured out that Jim was in need of someone. That Jim wasn't as alright as he had made everyone believe on the bridge. But he couldn't afford to appear weak on the bridge. The only place he could afford that, were his quarters where only Spock and McCoy could disturb him. And these two had seen at his best and worst. Knew how the mind and feelings of Jim Kirk worked.
"I will be, Spock. Andi t is Jim, Spock." He finally answered.
"Jim. I was worried about you. And because oft hat I had to perform a mind meld on him."
"You did what? You didn't have to do that. I don't know much about mind melds but I do know that they are a very private matter. It has never been done with a human before. Please tell me that it was at least worth it!" Spock had Jim's full attention now.
Spock was a bit surprised that Jim knew what a mind meld was.
Jim could read Spock well enough by now to know why Spock was so surprised now, and asked him: "What? When I heard I was getting a vulcan Science Officer I learned as much as I could about Vulcans. That's what everybody does, isn't it?"
"Not everyone, Jim. And not everyone does it fort he reasons you did." Spock answered. Jim had once again managed to surprise him. Something he nearly did on a daily basis.
"What were my reasons, do you think? I didn't mention them." Jim smiled his smile that was solely reserved for Spock.
"You did it know the needs a Vulcan has. I assume it is because oft hat I can raise the temperatures in my quarters as high as I need them to be, that the medical databanks contain everything the Doctor needs to treat me, that there is vulcan food available on the Enterprise?"
"You forgot something, Spock. There is a Doctor on board who was trained on Vulcan. I requested him here. Everywhere else his potential would have been wasted." Jim added.
"Why, Jim?" Spock asked him. Jim was making it very hard for him to ignore the feelings he had for him. Spock couldn't exactly say when he had first felt them, but they were there. Ignoring them now would be illogical.
"Because I care about my crew, Spock. You are one oft them. Your heritage doesn't matter. It is you who hast o work and live here. And not some expectations humans and Vulcans have on you. Let me make myself clear: I may tease you sometimes, but I like you the way you are."
That was the nicest thing someone had ever said to him. And Spock could see in Jim's eyes, that he meant every word he said. Fort he first time in his life he felt at home. He finally had found a person who didn't want him tob e more human or vulcan.
"You make it very difficult form e, Jim." He finally managed to say.
"You make it difficult form e to ignore my... feelings I have for you," Spock clarified. It wasn't easy for him to say it out loud, but Jim wasn't likely to run because Spock admitted he had feelings out loud.
"You mean you wouldn't object to this?"
"If by this you mean us in a relationship then no, I don't object to this." Jim smiled at him and moved closer tot he one person who really understood him. In some ways even better than McCoy did.
Spock took Jim's hand, and could sense there the same love for him he himself felt for Jim.
"Bones will have a heart attack when he finds out." Jim managed to say before Spock captured Jim's mouth with his.