Reviewer: fohatic Signed
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I'm sitting here with an elevated heart rate, an ongoing stream of "Oh my God... oh my God..." running through my head as I try to reconcile my mounting awe of your storytelling abilities with the spiraling despair brought on by the fact that this story remains 'TBC.'
No, really... this is so good; this is so heartbreaking!
Oh! The stuff between Spock and McCoy was so sweet! I really loved how you wrote Spock's reluctant acceptance of their friendship in the wake of Kirk's [presumed] loss. I don't know if I've ever seen McCoy written so well, his essence articulated with such subtlety:
He walked over to Spock, who had darted over to the science console the moment they'd all got through the door. Kirk had to step over a crewman's body as he did it. McCoy was crouched beside the man, and paused in his scan to watch Kirk do it.
At times like these, Kirk had a sneaking suspicion Bones hated him a little.
Jesus. I had to pause for a moment to process how excellent that single line was.
And, oh God, this part:
Jim was kissing him with every ounce of skill, with every last drop of tender feeling he had. It was staggering, both to feel it, and to know so clearly how Jim felt as they entwined. Aroused was not the word. The sensation ached too badly, was too tender and too bright.
YES. YOU HAVE DONE IT. You have written the consummation of this unique bond as I have always wanted to read it; as I have always felt it should be. Where other stories have leaned too heavily on either the eroticism or the emotionalism of this consummation, you have struck exactly the right chord for me. The resonance is so profound! This is what I've been searching for! Everything about this scene was perfect. You are a golden god of fanfiction for writing this!!
If you have any intention of continuning this story, please do. Though something so flawless shouldn't need supplementation, I can't help but bemoan the situation these characters are left in; it's as if you've opened a new universe here—or perhaps tapped into a pre-existing one on some kind of metaphysical level that storytellers might access—and have left it in a tragic state of stasis, wherein this universe's Kirk and Spock are forever trapped in fanfictional limbo, in perpetual agony! Am I getting too flowery here? A little too invested in this story? Ugh. Too late, too late — you've pierced something too raw, too close. I'm bleeding here. And I'm loving it.